serendipity

i

Why is it that you're always afraid you'll be left behind?

It can't be because I'm not there for you, because I am

Even when you do things and throw words that hurt like knives

Even when you push me away

Why is it that I'm always afraid that if one day you stop needing me

I will not have anything to live for?

I know I shouldn't feel so good when I see you at your lowest and I help you through it, but I do

I don't care if that makes me a bad person, but you can't claim that you're a good person either

Why is it that your smile seems genuine only when you're as drunk as it can get

Or when you wake up at bed at nights and you don't tell me what is wrong

But you just hold me close to you

As if you are afraid that you willl lose me?

And why is it that I'm so afraid to ask what those dreams you're having are about

Afraid that the asnwer will be more than I can handle

So I choose to ignore them and believe your fake smiles and empty words

All through the day

Why is it that you hold my hand tighter sometimes?

As if you are afraid that if you let go of me I'll disappear and you'll disappear with me?

Why is it that sometimes I find you looking at me with a perflexed expression on your face

As if you're trying to understand why I stay with you after all

And why is it that sometimes I find myself wondering the same?