Gone Mental

Chapter 4 : "It's ok to hide under the bed."

Chapter 4  
  
The next day...

Riker POV

"Riker, come on. You need to cooperate."

"NO!"

I was hanging onto the bars under my bed as tight as I could. I wasn't going to let go without a fight. Matt was trying to drag me out, and make me go back to therapy. But there was no way I was leaving this room.

Flashback

I was curled up under my bed when I heard screaming from outside my door. I heard a bunch of people running, and thumping, and screaming.

I was panicking, not knowing what to do. I know Matt locks the door, so I can't escape and go hide. And the question was, do I hide under my bed, or go hide in the bathroom? The bathroom doesn't have a lock though, and it seems like the obvious place to hide, so I decided to just stay under my bed.

The noises went on for about an hour. And I couldn't fall back asleep after they stopped.

End of Flashback

"Riker, come on. We can do this the easy way or the hard way. If you don't cooperate, I'm going to get someone to drag you out, and possibly stick you with a needle. So if you don't want that, then I suggest you let go."

"No! They'll hurt me! I don't want to go to therapy! Please!"

"Riker, nobody's going to hurt you. I promise."

"I heard screaming last night! They were hurting someone! And they'll hurt me!"

All of a sudden, my door opened, and I screamed.

"Matt, I have an idea. Come here," I heard someone say.

Matt let go of me, and left. I took this time to crawl further under my bed, and get a better grip on it.

I heard the door open again about 5 minutes later. I peeked out, and saw Ericka sit down on the floor. She was looking at me.

"P-please don't hurt m-me," I whispered, shaking.

"I'm not going to hurt you. Remember? I told you that yesterday."

"W-why are you here?"

"They want me to talk to you."

"Who?"

"The nurses."

"Why?"

"Because they think maybe I can help you."

"I'm not coming out."

"I'm not going to try to make you come out."

"Well then why are you here?"

"To talk to you."

I felt her hand on my back, and I relaxed slightly. But I was still pretty tense.

"Riker, I'm not going to tell you everything you're doing wrong. I know how annoying that is. I'm going to tell you that it's ok."

"Lies."

"No. I'm going to tell you that it's ok to hide under the bed, and I need for you to believe me."

"I get yelled at for doing this! I was just fighting with Matt about it! How can you tell me it's ok!?"

"I'm going to tell you why I'm here first."

"You already said the nurses wanted you to talk to me."

"No... I mean why I'm a patient here."

I stayed silent.

"I was put in this place about 6 months ago. I had abusive parents, and I'd get scared, and hide in my closet. I got moved to a foster home, but all I did was sit in the back of my closet, hiding. And when they couldn't get me out, they put me in here so I could get help. And it's not easy. It's far from easy. But you need to trust the nurses. They won't let anything happen to us, Riker. They just want to help us."

"I'm not coming out from here."

"I know. And that's ok. Everyone still has bad days. And this is just a bad day for you. If you have a bad day, it's ok to hide if you're scared. If that's what makes you feel better, then you're allowed."

"Matt said I wasn't allowed."

"Well I think they're talking about you, and what's allowed right now outside this door. Riker, they just want to help you. And you need to cooperate. I know it's hard, but it gets easier. I know that's probably the last thing you want to hear, but you need to trust me. Because it does."

"Then why are you here? It seems like you've got your life together."

"No... I still have my days too, Riker. I'm a lot better than I used to be, but I'm still not all the way better."

"So I'm allowed to hide?"

"Yeah... But you can't let it take over your life. You need to still eat, drink, use the bathroom, shower, change your clothes. But for the majority of the time, if you want to hide, then you can."

"Do they let you hide?"

"Yes... But that's because I don't let it take over my life."

I sighed.

"You really need to push yourself, Riker. And especially with the group therapy. It really helps."

"Do you promise you're not lying? About everything? And the nurses?"

"I promise, Riker. The nurses are here to help. They won't hurt you, and they won't let you get hurt. I promise."

I crawled out from under the bed. Ericka pulled me into a hug. And I actually felt a little better. I felt safe.