Gone Mental

Chapter 16 : A test for Riker

Chapter 16

Weeks Later...

Riker POV

So Ericka had gotten better, and they let her leave yesterday. My parents picked her up so she could live there. So now I just need to get better.

My first night without her was really lonely. And kind of scary. But I didn't go under the bed.

I was almost better. They said I just have to go 2 more days without hiding under the bed, and if I can do that, I can go home.

It was honestly really scary without Ericka. I missed her a lot, and I felt vulnerable.

She left me with a picture of her. And that was honestly the only thing keeping me going. I was constantly staring at the picture. I knew this was my chance to get out and finally be with her. She was my motivation.

My door opened, and Matt came in. He handed me a plate with my dinner.

"How are you doing Riker?"

"Lonely..."

"Because Ericka's gone?"

"Mhmmm..."

"Well... I have some good news for you. You have a visitor."

Ericka came in, and I jumped up to hug her tightly.

"I missed you!"

"Riker, I've only been gone for a day."

"I missed you!"

Matt left. We sat down on Ericka's old bed. I'd slept in her old bed last night because I missed her so much.

"So you only need to wait out tonight and tomorrow. And then the day after that, you can go home."

"I know. But it's hard without you."

"Riker, I will be here with your family to pick you up. You just have to stay out from under the bed."

"I can do that, right?"

"Yes, you can. Please don't mess this up. Just one more day, Riker."

"I know, but it's scary without you."

"Where's the picture?"

I handed it to her.

"Pretend I'm still with you. You can talk to my picture."

"I know... That's what I've been doing..."

"Really?"

I nodded.

"What have you been saying?"

"I miss you and I love you. And I want to get out of here."

"Aw..."

"How are things at my house?"

"They're good... Your siblings are all really nice. Rydel and I have been hanging out a lot."

I wrapped my arms around her.

"I miss you..."

"Riker, I'm right here."

"But you're going to leave me."

"I know... But you'll see me in a day."

"More than a day..."

"Ok, a day and a half. But here's a trick. Just sleep a lot, and the time will fly by, ok?"

"Ok... When are you leaving?"

"In about 10 minutes. Your family is taking me back home. They only brought me here so we could say hi. I knew you'd be missing me."

"I am... A lot..."

"You can do this, Riker. You just need to be strong, ok?"

"I'm trying..."

The door opened, and my whole family came in. I jumped up and hugged mom.

"I want to go home," I whined.

"Riker, just one more day. And then you can, ok?" Mom said.

I groaned.

I sat down on Ericka's bed again, and wrapped my arms around her tight.

"Alright, Riker. We have to get going," mom said.

"No!"

"Yes. Say goodbye to Ericka."

I hugged her even tighter.

"I love you," I whispered, shutting my eyes tight, trying not to cry.

"I love you too, Riker. One more day. You can do this."

She broke away from our hug, and handed me the picture of her.

I watched them leave, and then I curled up in Ericka's bed and started crying. I just want to go home...

The next day...

Riker POV

It sucks to know that you're so close to a goal, and then one little mistake can mess that all up.

This happened to be one of my bad days. I woke up, and just felt scared. Part of that might be because I had a nightmare, but something just didn't feel right. I really wanted to hide, but I knew if I did, I would mess everything up for me and Ericka. It was so tempting, but I knew Ericka would be disappointed in me.

I heard yelling and footsteps in the hall, and that made me even more scared. I jumped to the floor, but stayed frozen. I can't go under the freaking bed.

I heard the yelling again. And I felt myself starting to have a panic attack. This is not good.

I laid down on the floor right next to the bed. I stared underneath the bed, wishing I was under there so badly. 

My panic attack started getting really bad. I was crying, and I could barely breathe. My hands were shaking, and I felt really dizzy, but I needed to stay out from under the bed.

I grabbed Ericka's picture, and put it under the bed. I continued to stare at her picture under there, reminding me that no matter what, I can't go under there. I can't do it.

The door opened, and I saw Matt.

"Riker, you ok?"

"I c-can't g-go under! I n-need to s-stay out!"

I sat up, and Matt sat down on the floor next to me.

"You're doing good, Riker. Good self control. Now I need you to take deep breaths and calm down, ok?"

I had my arms wrapped around myself, and my nails were digging into my arms. I was so tense.

"Come on, Riker. Deep breaths, ok?"

I remembered when Ericka found me like this. She made me breathe in through my nose, and out through my mouth. I closed my eyes tight, and tried to picture Ericka. I tried to remember every single detail about her.

"Good, Riker. Keep going."

I kept taking deep breaths. They were pretty shaky. I was all sweaty, but I felt really cold at the same time.

"Good..."

I opened my eyes, and everything seemed calm again.

"Do you feel better?"

I nodded.

"Ok. Good."

I grabbed the picture of Ericka from under the bed, and stared at it. Even though she's not here, she helped me get through this.

Matt left. I got back in Ericka's bed, feeling a slight sense of relief. I felt scared, but nothing bad happened. I'm fine. I just need to make it until tomorrow...