Refuge

Chapter 13: Motherly Love

Wooooooo another chapter! Some shit goes down, secrets are revealed, and Alex remains sarcastic as shit. 

I love it.

This chapter's a bit of a filler, but also very necessary so please, read everything! 

Without adeu, here's Chapter 13!

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You never realize how awkward some occasions can be until you actually have to sit through one. For instance, I thought my most awkward Sunday dinner would have been the one where Tess and I were at each other’s throats. 

Ha. Boy was I wrong. 

Right now, I’m walking, well, swiftly walking, down the front staircase, late for dinner. My hair’s a wreck, my face is blotchy, and my clothes are dirty ones that I found on my bedroom floor.

Apparently, wanting to kiss your best friend’s twin brother results in a slight meltdown. 

Seriously though, I can’t stop thinking about it. And not the thinking about it in my analyzing and interpreting way. No, more like the “I can’t stop thinking about Hayden’s mouth” kind of way.

I just can’t figure out what came over me. I’m broken, my willingness to love and be loved in return having been ruined by Collin when he...when he did what he did. I shouldn’t be thinking this about anyone, much less my best friend’s twin brother.

Where did that feeling come from, anyways? I shouldn’t like someone like Hayden. Don’t get me wrong, he’s attractive and all (okay, he’s fucking hot, but still) and after what Hallie told me about his softer side, I’m sure he’s a great guy under the tough guy persona. 

That’s the thing though; he has all these personas. For instance, from the moment I got here, he went from angry at me, to being flirty, to being angry agin, to worried, then to hostile and not even speaking to me, then speaking to me briefly, then sleeping with me to comfort me, then finally being cold and hostile again before looking like he was going to kiss me.

See, that last part, I’m not to sure about. Did Hayden really want to kiss me, or was it just my wanting to kiss him that made it look like he was leaning in? Hell if I know. I’m just so damn confused, my head’s spinning. 

And now I’m thinking about the whole sleeping together and cuddling instance that happened last night. Was it out of kindness or guilt? I may never know what propelled him to that. Maybe I don’t want to know. 

Yeah, I kinda do. 

I smile quickly at staff as I walk by and rush through the house, not wanting to make any more of an entrance than I’m already making. Since I look like shit, I know that other’s are going to notice and want to ask about it and want me to “talk” about it. But, I’m in no mood to partake in a pity party, so I tape a smile to my face and walk into the dining room. 

The Watsons all sit around their giant wood table, the main course already on the table. I look around and notice that the lovely Tess hasn’t graced her with her presence. 

I think that made my day.

I look over at Hallie and she smiles at me over her glass of juice. I smile back and look over at Hayden. He’s staring hard at his food, his stiff position melting my smile.

Why am I reacting this way?

“Ah, Alex!” Miss Abby says, putting her fork down and smiling, but it wobbles. “Glad you could join us. I was just about to send Hayden up to get you.”