I was so scared to give up depression, fearing that somehow the worst part of me was actually all of me. "
— Elizabeth Wurtzel
{edited 04.12.21}
(Trigger Warning: Mentions of Depression)
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"You're full of shit," the girl giggled as Matt sat across from her. The boy had taken her to one of the Southside's finer establishments, which wasn't saying much.
"No!" He laughed, "I swear. Mr. Perry kicked me off the bus for 2 weeks after that!" Delaney let out another fit of laughter before taking a sip of her drink.
As the two settled into silence, Matt reached his hand across the table to grab the girl's hand. "Delaney," he started. Delaney sat staring at their hands, why did this feel so weird?
"I would really like to get to know you," He gave the girl a hopeful smile.
"That sounds..." Delaney began, "nice?" She spoke, although it came out more like a question. To be honest she didn't want to lead the boy on and she wasn't sure how she was feeling. The last she could do, however, was give it a shot. He did seem nice.
"You don't sound so sure," Matt frowned.
"No! Sorry, there's just so much going on right now, but I would like to get to know you too! But maybe, as friends?" She spoke.
The boy retracted his hand from the girl's before giving her a small smile. "Deal, friends."
"Yeah! Friends," Delaney felt relieved.
"For now," Matt added.
[•]
The next day Delaney sat quietly, the white walls of the office suffocating her. She was here for her monthly visit with her psychiatrist, aka the man who gave her a new set of pills every month.
She preferred going alone, she didn't need her mother speaking for her, god knows if that happened the poor girl would be on thousands of new antidepressants. However, this time she wasn't alone. The seat beside her was currently taken by a certain curly-haired boy. He had asked to go along, talking about wanting to give the girl a ride in the car Steve had leant him. She hated coming to these appointments. Delaney didn't feel as if she belonged here. She was fine. Her gaze stayed steady, not faltering from looking straight ahead. The world around her becoming a giant blur as her thoughts crowded her. She was fine.
She had been quiet the whole ride. The boy worried for his friend, her usual talkative demeanor diminishing into the depths of her subconscious. He felt guilty. He had abandoned his friend for almost a month, focusing on minor problems while the girl next to him was fighting her inner monologue alone. He knew she wasn't okay. The last time Lip had seen the girl before their month break, her eyes were bright, smile wide. Now, both faltered to a pit of nothingness. The usual smile replaced with a solid frown. Her beautiful blue eyes, sunken back, a dark dreary grey replacing the once lively color. His family had noticed as well.
