azaleas [horan]

This is Goodbye

A Z A L E A

"I have to tell him now," I lunged towards my coat but Eleanor stopped me before I could put it on.

"Just wait till tomorrow, he's probably sleeping," I glanced at the clock and sure enough, it was past 11 pm and the sun was long gone. My shoulders sagged.

"Okay," I said, although it was barely audible. I trudged to my closet and hung up my coat.

"You should go to bed soon. Tomorrow's gonna be a long day."

I nodded, slipping out of my clothes and into comfortable pajamas. I pulled the covers over my shivering body and killed the light.

***

"I'm breaking up with you."

My head hung low, my long hair forming a curtain around my tear-stained face. I looked up as the deafening silence became unbearable. His blue eyes were brimming with angry tears as he cried silently.

"Niall?"

He huffed and spun on his heel so his back faced me. I leaned forward and place my small hand on his shaking shoulder.

"I'm sorry."

He hasn't said a word to me the entire time. I was surprised when he finally turned to meet my gaze.

"It's because of Josh, isn't it? It's because you're both British and I'll always be the Irish outcast, won't I? Do you not like me because I'm different? Or did you just want me for my fame?" His voice rose as he spat questions at me.

"N-no Niall please don't say that!"

"Why? Because it's true? You must not be used to telling the truth then."

He trudged to his car and slammed the door shut. "You're dead to me, Azalea," he muttered through the open window and drove off, leaving me alone on cold street.

I continued to sob after his vehicle was long gone. I slid down the brick wall, hiding my face in my hands.

My eyes snapped open as ice cold water rushed down my sweaty body.

"What the fuck!" I sputtered as water entered my mouth.

"You were yelling Niall's name and crying and you wouldn't wake up!" Eleanor set the bucket of water on the nightstand and sat at the end of my bed, the only part that wasn't drenched in water. My pajamas were soaked along with my bed sheets. I ran my hand through my hair and sighed.

"Do you think I'm doing the right thing? Breaking up with Niall, I mean."

Eleanor smoothed out her flannel pants and shrugged. "To be honest, you two don't have much in common and I was surprised when you started dating."

I covered my face with my pillow and groaned, "Are you saying my dad was right? That we weren't gonna last?"

"I'm not saying that! I'm just saying that Josh might suit you better, that's all. You don't know much about Niall, really. But you and Josh, I don't know, you two just click."

I thought back to all the times Josh had comforted me.

I looked at Eleanor who gave me a reassuring smile. "Thanks, El. I'm sorry for keeping you up, go back to bed. I'm alright," I got up and pawed through my dresser for a dry pair of pajamas.

 She yawned and stretched, "Good night, Az."

***

After my alarm awakened me the next morning, I dialed Niall's number into my phone.