"Can you believe it's been a year since you moved in?" Dan and I were celebrating the anniversary of the beginning of our friendship with wine, Maltesers, and anime.
"I know, right? It feels so much longer than--damn it, Light! What the fuck are you—Jesus!" Dan threw himself back against the couch cushions, squeezing his eyes shut in frustration. I sighed, shaking my head. "I hate this show."
"Right? It was so good earlier on, but fucking Misa ruined it."
"I know. Anyway, you were saying?"
"Yeah. It feels like a million years instead of one." Dan's smile became shyer, more hesitant. "I'm glad we're friends, Phil."
"Me too, Bear." When I used his nickname, something flashed across his face, something I'd only seen a few times before. "What? Don't like me calling you that?"
Dan swallowed and shifted the blanket closer to his stomach. "No, it's—It's fine."
His movement lifted the blanket off my feet, and my toes wriggled in the sudden blast of cold air. I snuggled closer to him, attempting to fit my feet under the blanket again. It didn't really register how invasive I was being until Dan coughed and rubbed his neck, clearly uncomfortable.
"Oh... oh, God. I'm sorry." I immediately moved away, not caring that the blanket fell off me.
"You should have said something."
Dan's ears were tinged bright red at the tips. "No—no, Phil, it's completely fine. I just—I need to piss."
He pushed the blanket off, stumbled to his feet, and hurried to the bathroom. I threw my head back against the couch, closing my eyes and cursing myself. I knew Dan had a problem with physical affection, and he knew that I was the opposite. I loved hugs, loved to touch people, romantically and platonically. And I had been cuddling with Dan... platonically. As best friends,
which we were. Did Dan think... no, he couldn't. I'd never shown the slightest interest in him. At least, that's what I thought. Oh, God, I'd ruined everything. Or maybe I was overanalyzing the whole situation and he really did just have to take a piss. Just as I was concluding my brief panic, Dan came out of the bathroom, wiping his hands on his gray sweatpants that hung loosely off his hips. I could see a strip of pale stomach when he lifted his arms to check his hair, and I felt
goosebumps ripple on my skin. What the fuck was happening? Dan looked significantly more relaxed when he sat down, looking at me like the previous minutes had never even happened.
"C'mere."
"What?"
Dan bit his lip, suddenly a lot shyer. "I mean—only if you want to." I shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant, and awkwardly clambered over to Dan.
"Sure this is okay?" I asked him, still wary of making him uncomfortable again.
He looked up at me, surprised. "Yeah, why wouldn't it be?"
God, he was clueless, but I shook my head and put my arm around him, coaxing his head down to lay on my shoulder. It occurred to me that this way of sitting could be construed as not entirely platonic.
Not platonic at all. I swallowed, suddenly aware of Dan's hair tickling my neck, of his warmth against me. And there it was, the more, er, physical reaction. Shit. Things were definitely about to become more awkward between us. But in that moment, I didn't particularly care. Dan awkwardly extracted his arm but didn't put it around me, something I was weirdly disappointed by. Oh, God. I didn't like him, did I? I was just having a normal reaction. I mean, he was really attractive, and I hadn't touched another boy since I broke up with Charlie, and that had been over four months ago. My 'physical reaction' didn't mean I was attracted to him. I was just suffering from an extreme case of loneliness... right?
I decided to shove those strange, definitely-not-okay thoughts down and just enjoy tonight, the anniversary of Dan and Phil.
"What do you want to watch next?"
I looked at him, and he was so close I could see the flecks of amber in his eyes. It was suddenly hard to breathe.
"Hmmm, Sherlock?"
He grinned. "Sherlock."
Dan pointed the remote at the telly, and I thanked the Netflix gods that he didn't have to get up to change the show.
"God, just kiss already," I unconsciously groaned as Sherlock and John were yet again standing really close to one another and radiating sexual tension I could cut with a knife. Dan paused the show.
"What the fuck?"
I shifted my position to face him. "You don't see it?"
Dan's face was almost comical. "What, you think they're in love?" he said sarcastically. "They're just friends, Phil. Not everything has to be gay."
I was astounded. "They're literally mentally undressing each other with their eyes, right this second!"
He rolled his eyes. "Please, Phil. John's had strings of girlfriends! Also, Irene," he added. "There was Irene."
"You do know that one doesn't have to be one hundred percent straight or gay, right? They can change their minds, Dan. And Irene wasn't even his—ugh, never mind, I'm not getting into this right now. Think whatever you want, but they're definitely gay for each other. I'm gay, I should
know!"
Dan shook his head and unpaused the show, not even bothering to respond to my outburst. We watched in stony silence for about 20 minutes, until Dan suddenly giggled. He paused it again.
"I can't believe we just argued about whether two fictional characters are gay for each other."
I started to laugh, as well. "We're completely ridiculous."
Dan snorted. "Agreed."
And I moved closer, not even caring about the potential fallout. For now, I was content with Dan's skin heating mine, with the way he nestled his head into my shoulder.
I smiled and unpaused the show.
-----&-----
A/N.
Jhonlock is definitely real.
So is phan, troyler, sasunaru, gratsu and all my other otps. :)
