Tripping the Night Fantastic

Chapter 2

Knock, Knock, Knock. Simon waited for a few seconds.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

Inside Charlie's apartment something stirred under a bed sheet.

Bang! Bang! Bang! 'Charlie!'

Charlie opened his eyes, a little confused and world weary thanks to a large bottle of Jack Daniels the night before.

Bang! Bang! Bang! 'Charlie! Open the door!'

Charlie sat up and climbed out of his bed.

Bang!...

'Shut up! I'm coming.'

Charlie un-chained the door and opened it. Simon Squeezed past him and went straight to the kitchen.

'What?' Charlie demanded wearily.

'It's Tuesday, we have to be at the studio in an hour.'

Charlie's face tried to respond and failed, so far only his legs, eyes, part of his brain and at least one of his arms was completely awake. He tried speech 'nmph?'

'GMTV. I've got you three cups of coffee, drink this.'

Charlie took the coffee.

'And a bacon and egg sandwich,' continued Simon.

'mm.'

'Eat your sandwich and get in the shower, I've got you a new shirt and some razors.'

'You're ever so nice.'

'I know, now get in the shower.'

Simon edged him toward the shower and gave him his second coffee as he entered and closed the door behind him.

'Make sure you shave!'

'Alright, stop shouting.'

Fifteen minutes later the shower door opened and out came Charlie. To Simon's astonishment he actually looked close to presentable.

'Right, you look good, let's go.'

'Wait, wait... wait.'

'What?'

Charlie looked around his room and grabbed his keys, a small cantina and half a cigarette out of the ash tray.

'Ok.'

In the underground car park Simon unlocked his car. Charlie looked at him with an expression like pity.

'What are you doing?' said Charlie.

'Getting in the car.'

'We're not taking your car we're taking mine.'

'Really?' Simon ran a disapproving eye over the trashed vehicle, 'why don't you buy a proper car?'

Charlie composed himself and prepared his fragile mind for coherent conversation.

'It's not about how new and shiny a car is that makes a car great. I'm not getting in your car; it has no handbrake and no keyhole, so in my book it's not even a car. Having no keyhole is like a woman having no vagina.'

'Charlie it's a modern car, this button is the hand brake, and it doesn't have a keyhole because you start it with a button.'

'Your sexless freak of a car is the automobile equivalent of a blonde-tipped, spiky haired prick with no penis, whereas my fucked up little Jaguar is the car equivalent of dishevelled rough sex.'

Simon closed his car door and got obediently into Charlie's.

Concise and in control is how Charlie would describe his driving. Most others would describe it as erratic, dangerous, fast, and suicidal. Neither is right, he actually drives in a way that is both oblivious to other road users and apparently, as he has never crashed, safer than flying. In-fact, his record is so clean that being driven by Charlie is statistically safer than driving. It is frightening nonetheless.