Black Rose

32.

Majesty A. Turner

"I-I..." more tears fell from my eyes as I stumbled over my words. My own husband... "I'm beginning to think you don't love me."

He let out another chuckle as he placed the knife on the counter. His eyes never left mine as he stepped closer to me. He left a couple feet between us though. I'm sure he could tell how nervous I am.

"Because I don't."

I wiped my eyes but that didn't help. Tears just kept flowing down my face. "Y-yes you do." I made my way towards Alex while sniffing. I took his face between my hands. "You do love me."

A sigh left his lips as he removed my hands from his face. "I don't fucking love you Majesty, how blind are you?!" My bottom lip began to trembled as I took a step back from the man who has my heart. "You're beautiful as hell, but I don't love you. I like your body and your pussy. Your pussy is amazing baby, it really is."

By now, I'm sure my face is a deep shade of red. Sadness and anger were filled in my heart. In one swift movement I turned around and stomped up the stairs to the bedroom. Slamming the door behind me, I also made sure to lock it. I stuffed my face in Alex's pillow as sobs escaped my lips.

How can he not love me? Why are we even married if he doesn't love me? Why did he pay for all of my college expenses? Why is he paying for my upcoming heart surgery?

How can the man I gave my heart to not love me?

Millions of questions could be asked, but not one of them would be answered.

The loud thunder shaking the building was music to my ears. It seemed to be my everlasting mood. Once I'm up, I'm brought right back down. I went from seeking the light in darkness to not even caring anymore. I no longer see the light in darkness. The darkness is a giant cloud around me.

The thing is.. I'm not trying to find my way out.

Once my tears came to a stop, I felt pressure in my head as my chest began to tighten. All of my sadness disappeared and was replaced with anger. Feathers flew around the room as I ripped Alex's pillow in half and tossed it across the room. I jumped off of the bed and stomped to where the dresser was. Crashing sounds echoed throughout the room as I knocked everything down.

It seemed as if hours past until I was no longer angry. I now laid in bed with low music playing from my phone.

Said she ain't got nothing good to say so she ain't gon say nothing, but this...
You ain't shit, that's what she said to me
Looked me dead in the eyes and said, "you ain't shit."

I sniffed for the fifth time in the past minute. My music was on shuffle and all sad songs seemed to play, which only made me sadder.

After the song went off I decided it isn't good for me to do this. I shouldn't be laying in bed making my mood worse. I need to be out of this negative place I call home. My back ached as I changed into loose clothing. I'm sure there's a bruise since I did get pushed into the edge of the counter. My eyes lingered on my reflection. I didn't look good and I damn sure don't feel good physically, emotionally and mentally.

I grabbed my keys off of the floor and crept out of the room. Fortunately, Alex was fast asleep on the couch when I made it the door. Loud snores left his slightly opened mouth. He'll be asleep for awhile..