Black Rose

49.

Heey guys, just wanted to let you know in advanced that I won't be updating as much as I used to. February and March I'll be busy, and January is full of birthdays. Speaking of birthdays, today is mine 🌚. Club goin' up on a Tuesday! Lmao but even though it's a Tuesday I'm still thanking God for another year because tomorrow is never promised. Anywaaaaays, hope you all enjoy. 😽

Majesty A. Turner

They say life goes on, but does it really? What if you're still dwelling on the past? In your mind life isn't moving if you're in the past, but in reality it is. Being stuck in the past is what really makes you lose your present and future.

If I would've lived in the present and thought about the future would Gina be here now?

Before passing away did she think about me? Did she wish she would've tied our broken ends before anything tragic would've happened? Ultimately, did she know she would be leaving the earth so soon?

Many thoughts flooded my mind and most of them contained Gina and Alex.

What if something tragic happens to Alex next? A minute will always be sixty seconds and anything can happen during those seconds. Should I give him a call and pray everything between us will be perfectly fine?

The wall we built seems to be getting close to falling down. If the hammers keep knocking at it pretty soon the wall will be nonexistent. Should we forgive and forget those hammers? Forgive, but definitely won't forget.

A light green mechanical pencil loosely hung between my fingers as I laid on my stomach. My eyes lingered on the hundreds, maybe thousands, of words on the four pieces of paper. Not wanting to be completely isolated, I left my room door cracked and had a Stephen King movie on for some type of noise. With today being my last full day of 'freedom', I chose to do completely nothing. My mind isn't capable of telling my body to do anything. I feel completely worn out although I've done nothing since I arrived.

Dad would try and get me out of the house but I refused to. It seems he has somewhat gotten out of his mourning stage. For some reason I seem to now be entering that zone.

Light knocks erupted from the wooden door, and soon Dad entered my bedroom. I placed my pencil down and met his stare. The stare didn't last long. I couldn't keep my eyes on his; he read my entire life story through my glossy eyeballs. "We're going out to eat. You, Luna and I." He announced quietly. Before I could even refuse his offer he spoke once again. "It's your last night until May twenty-first."

February the twentieth to May the twenty-first; how will I possibly survive that long in a facility? What was I thinking when I registered myself? Do I really have depression? Am I really addicted to coke?

Closing my eyes, I inhaled and exhaled slowly. "I'll get dressed."

Dad tried to hide the small grin on his face. He thanked me and exited my room, closing the door fully so I can get dressed.

"Let's do this." I sighed deeply and pushed myself off of the bed.

I absentmindedly scratched my arm as I gazed around. Dad, Luna and I were seated outside since today's a warm February day with a high of 68 degrees. Global warming is real.