Black Rose

54.

Majesty A. Turner

They say you know when it's your time. Some say they even dream of it in advanced. Lucid dreaming your death has to be the worst nightmare ever, unless you are completely ready and accept the fact that it is your time.

But just because you die, that does not mean it's your time.

As humans we get ourselves into situations that can, and will, shorten our lifespan. Rather we know the risk of the situation or not.

It's said that right before you die, your life flashes right before your eyes. You see every good and bad event in your life in a matter of seconds before you enter the path with two choices.

However, I saw nothing. I didn't see the light or the events of my life that seems to be a tragedy.

I'm here and I'm living.

"Instead of believing your life is a tragedy, make it the opposite," Dad encouraged, sitting beside the bed. "You made it out of that crash without a scratch. That's unbelievable Maj. Turn your life around, if not for you, for your daughter."

Tears of joy trailed down my face as my eyes were glued to the birth certificate. I didn't bother to wipe them.

August 6, 2017
4:36 p.m.
6lbs 2oz

Just 20 hours ago I had fallen in love for the first time. Although I have yet to meet her, I still have an undeniable love for the human I have created. Sniffing, I placed the certificate on the table beside the bed.

"I just wanna meet her," I whispered.

Dad's knees popped as he stood up to stretch. "I'll go talk to a doctor."

I gave a small nod and watched as he departed the room. As soon as the door shut, it opened once again. Instead of Dad returning with a doctor in the speed of lightning, it was a completely different person. Someone who has made me believe that he despises me.

He took each step carefully as if he were walking on eggshells. His vulnerable eyes remained on mine as he slowly made his way into the chair my dad was previously in.

I scooted over a bit to the far opposite side of the bed. But why? After all the things he's done he can't possible do anything worse. He's done all a human being is capable of doing. He slowly peeled at each and every wall I had up, before eventually knocking them down. He knocked them down as if they were worthless. Not once did he seem to care. Not once did he feel bad.

Not once has he ever apologized.

Does he believe everything he has done is okay?

And yet, I still dream of him. I gave him a part of me I can't reclaim. I shared my darkest side with him; something I can never take back.

Alexander sniffed and broke eye contact, glancing off into the near distance.

"Look at me," I demanded. It was as if I hadn't spoken. His eyes remained on the wall behind me as if he were hypnotized. "Alexander, look at me."

I was forced to stare into his soulless eyes at my weakest point; it's only right if he has to do the same.

Sighing, his dark eyes met mine. It wasn't until now that I noticed the dark circles underneath his bloodshot eyes. His left leg bounced up and down at a rapid speed that desperately wanted my attention, but I refused to tear my eyes away from his.