Incomplete!

Life!

Revelling in the past was never my thing.
Crying and tears weren't means I'd ever try.
Talking was as foreign as heaven and hell to me and I had no clue what it feels like.

I've tried once, I spoke my heart, cried, screamed, till I could no longer feel my throat and eyes.
But I know the truth full well now..
I t's c a r e f u l l y..
s k I l f u l l y..
p e r m a n e n t l y..
carved into my insides!

I know that nothing matters.
I know I don't matter.
I know we will always, regardless, remain alive!
I know that the sun will rise again as if there was no night and I know that people are still going to dress up, wear those strange, unsettling smiles as if everything was alright.
I know that life will continue..

So why cry?

**********

1st person's pov:-

Looking at the woven white curtains, the usual lifeless glazed roof, the cold bars of my bed, I rubbed my eyes tiredly, pushing the white blanket from above me, slipping into my black slippers in process.
It wasn't weird at all.
It was deadly silent as usual; I could feel the cold air getting sucked into my deflated lungs pushing that reddish fluid into my veins so I can suffer through another day.

It was as cold as a dead freezer, as dark as a grave, as calm as an abandoned village, as much lifeless as I am.

Snapping out of me daze, I exhaled, instinctively dragging my feet toward the bathroom. My room might be dimmed; and maybe yes I couldn't see, but my heart doesn't lie! Although it's beats are another filthy lie.

Taking another cold shower, putting on my head to toe black suit, I carried my dead body for another day, and, here starts another lie!

*
*

"Dear Liza, don't forget to take breakfast, please" I heard my housekeeper plead as she trudged into the living room, her worn out back hunched by the load called life.

Nodding slowly "I won't" I answered, my voice hushed from sleeping , not that it was ever lively though.

"Promise?" She inquired in her strained voice that aged along with her all white hair, another thing the lie called life, deprived her from.
She has a sweet voice that had been violated by the oppressive days of life.

"I promise" I assured with a faint smile I somehow forced out as my right hind blindly grabbed the frame-less picture on the wooden disk. It's a thing I put close to remind me of the big fraud named life.
Because things never go right, you shouldn't get attached to people.
You shouldn't etch a smile.
You shouldn't depend on someone.
Cause it will all be taken away!
You might lose it all in the blink of an eye!

I took my fake frame-less eyeglasses, grabbed my black bag, then strolled outside.

**********

SOVEREIGN UNIVERSITY FOR MEDICAL SCIENCES

Written on a high hanging sign. The gate below which was naturally decorated by the creeping branches of uncut messy plants, presenting the authentic scientific edifice of the country.

The university I study in, is actually an Urban Savannah! And that's one thing I'm grateful for.
In spite of my hatred to life & humans, I've undyinglove for nature!
It's the only source of truth & peace I can look for.

I robotically trudged through the entrance , eyes stuck to the ground, not having the least interest in whatever surrounded me. If I speak, I speak insults, so I tend to avoid contact. Aunt. Marry was of course an exception from that, but why would I hold back with the brats I study with!
Everyone who approaches me, shall unexceptionally suffer my wrath!