Crack! One-Shots

Life of Ace

So apparently I was sort of high writing this...
It's in the pov of Ace and like Ace is a dog so yep. It's dog language I guess so it's meant to be like that and I wrote it in incomplete sentences on purpose cause it's dog's point of view so yeah. I just had a feeking that dogs don't really speak proper english. But I hope you enjoyed reading this and have a great day I guess. Nothing much to talk about now so just read the story.
-Trina
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Ace's pov

I've been walking around the house for long time now...

Ok I'm bored. I want to play with nice hooman but he not here, I would call for him but I cannot for I am dog. Dog cannot speak.

Something not right. There is hooman but it's not nice hooman, it's red head hooman. I hate red head hooman, he not nice.

But red head hooman is with other nice hooman that I no play with. Red head hooman called other nice hooman baby bird, but he hooman not bird. Red head hooman is stoopid.

I see red head hooman now, I still hate him. He going to couch, couch is mine, I must protect my couch. I go bite red head hooman.

"Stupid mutt," Red head hooman says, he lifted me up and call for other nice hooman to help him. Other nice hooman no want help red head hooman, other nice hooman smart, I like.

Demon hooman comes in now, me no like demon hooman. Demon hooman looks like master but he demon, demon scares me. I go to other nice hooman cause he's the only nice hooman left.

I lie in other nice hooman's lap, other nice hooman stares at me. He lets me lie in his lap, suddenly doorbell ring.

I bark and run to door cause I think it's nice hooman, but it's mailman. I hate mailman, I don't know why, I just hate him.

I think I kick other nice hooman before I run to door cause he sit on couch with red head hooman now.

I go to red head hooman, l bite him again. "You little fucker!" He calls me. I'm no fucker, master is, he brings in female hoomans all the time.

I see door open now, it's nice hooman, I run to nice hooman and tackle him. Nice hooman seems happy to see me, I happy to see him too.

I lick nice hooman, he carries me and holds me, he then sits next to red head hooman on couch and pats me.

I growl at red head hooman, nice hooman is mine, he's my favorite hooman. I want to bite red head hooman again, but nice hooman here so I be nice. I lie in nice hooman's lap.

Red head hooman asks nice hooman, "How is that mutt so nice to you?"

"I don't know, maybe it just likes me."

"That piece of shit bit me twice."

"At least he doesn't have rabies."

"Yeah, I'm glad."

Red head hooman glad, that very rare, I must bite him see if he's ok, so I bite him. "Dick, your dog bit me again, for fucks sake."

See Red head hooman not nice, I see if he ok by biting him, he tells nice hooman and make it sound like I did something wrong.

Nice hooman then puts me in floor, tells me to go play with someone else.

I go disturb other nice hooman, I go to him and lick him. He likes it, he lets me lie in his lap, I lie in his lap and I sleep, I sleep for long time.

Oh god so this is the result of me being really high. Ok but still I hoped you guys liked this one shot cause I feel that this is a beautiful piece here. One of my best I'll say and I'll be gone for a few days so yep:/ But anyways bai:3