Sex & Sentiments Part Two// Ashton Irwin

Opportunities & Openings

"I don't know—" Michael said, as the other boys tried to get their instruments ready, "it doesn't feel right."

We were all at Ashton's house, still in our funeral clothes. They boys were planning to play at the local pub in town, Red Jays. It was a super popular place for new talent, and the bookings were incredibly hard to get. Most of us still couldn't believe Ashton pulled it off. They didn't even have a band name.. but he had still done it.

"Michael," I say to him, as we sit side by side on Ashton's bed, out of everyone's ear shot, "I know how you feel. Okay, no I don't.. but I understand, completely. In my own weird and twisted way, I've been where you are. I've been in a place where anything fun or new or exciting feels wrong, and bad.. like because of the horrible things in life, you feel like you have no right to be happy, right?"

He stares at me, "that's.. exactly how I feel..."

"It never gets easier," I tell him truthfully, "it's never going to be okay... but you do learn to deal with it better. It sucks that, that's what it comes down to.. but it's the honest truth. You deal with it. You find your friends, your passion, something you love.. hold onto it. And no matter what, never give up. Paige was all about never giving up. That's what us cheerleaders believe in, not giving up."

"Okay," Michael finally says, standing from the bed, "Let's do this."

There's a knocking downstairs, as the boys are about to start.

"I'll get it," I tell them, and let them continue with their practice.

I make my way downstairs. Who could possibly be here? Ashton's Dad is out of town, and I'm pretty sure he wouldn't knock anyway.. and everyone we know is already here.

I open the door, half expecting it to be a joke.. when I see Lana, standing in Ashton's doorway, drenched from head to toe in her dress from the funeral.

She's a complete mess. Her eyes are black from her runny mascara, her hair is tangled and frizzy. She's a shell of the Lana I know.

"Hi?" I say awkwardly.

"Oh.. hi Indie," Her voice hitches, she's been crying.

"Come in," I say, pulling her in from the rain, before taking off my jacket, and putting it around her shoulders.

"I didn't know where else to go," she tells me through tears, "it's Friday night.. usually I'd go to Paige's house.. but I can't.."

I wrap my arms around her, surprisingly she hugs me back tighter.

"Lana?" Ashton comes down the staircase.

"Hi," She says, pulling away from me.

Ashton rushes over to her, and embraces her tightly, "here, come on, let's get you dry."

I watch as they walk off towards the down-stairs bathroom, and my stomach drops a little. I take off back upstairs before I even try to evaluate what I'm feeling right now.

"Who's at the door?" Emily asks, when I take my seat by her.

"Lana."

"Really?"

"Yeah," I say, "I think she just needed, to be around someone.."

"So she chose Ashton? Are they friends?"

"I don't know.." I say truthfully, "They used to date, so they would've had to at least like each other at one point, right?"

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After 20 absent minutes, Ashton and Lana emerge through his bedroom door. I notice she looks slightly dryer, and her face is clean.. and she's also in one of Ashton's shirts. I don't know why, but it bothers me..