Alec trudged through the thick sheet of snow that was left from this morning's snow fall. The later he stayed at the institute, and away from Magnus, the colder the air was on the walk home. Alec hated staying late, but, since Clary and Jace have a nine month old baby, Alec stays to help so Jace and Clary can get more sleep. A baby can be very demanding.
Currently, under his heavy winter coat, Alec had baby throw up all the way down the back of his shirt. He didn't bother to tell Jace about it as his parabatai was already asleep. He just got Jonathan down to sleep and left as quietly as possible.
He smiled when he made it to the front steps of his apartment building. He reached into his left pocket to draw out the key but there was nothing in his pocket. He checked the rest of his pockets but to no avail. He had left his keys at the Institute.
He grabbed his cell phone which he had found on his frantic search for his keys and dialed up Magnus's number. If he buzzed, it would most likely disturb his own kids that were no doubt asleep at this hour. Alec didn't bother looking it up in his phone's address book. All of the names were listed in alphabetical order and Magnus's name was always hard to find because Alec refused to take the time to give anyone a contact photo. Alec instead punched the warlock's number in from memory.
The phone rang a few times before a groggy voice said into the phone: "This better be someone telling me I won a free life-time-supply of glitter, otherwise I shall turn you into a cat."
"Magnus, it's Alec, I'm sorry, I forgot my keys at the Institute," he told his boyfriend half hoping that Magnus would show mercy and not turn him into the Chairmen's new brother.
"Oh, it's you darling." Alec heard a snap. "There you are."
"Thanks, love you." Alec slid the phone into his back pocket as he raced up the stairs to his loft. He slipped, quietly, through the door. It was well past midnight and if he woke Max, who is a very light sleeper, he would definitely not be going to bed tonight.
He took his wet shoes off and put them on the mat by the door to dry. Magnus hated to wake up in the morning and see the dried outlines of boot prints in the carpet. Alec hung his jacket up and continued to the bedroom. He took his baby-puke-covered-shirt and his jeans off, and, being too lazy to pull his sweats on, he got into bed with nothing but his boxers on.
Alec could feel Magnus's warmth as soon as he crawled under the covers. He loved coming home to this, he only wished that it wasn't so late. They hadn't had a lot of time recently to do something together. Magnus was also the main one taking care of Max and Raphael. The gilt was killing Alec that he was leaving his boyfriend to do all of this on his own.
Alec sighed and turned over to drag his love towards him in the bed. Magnus's back was turned towards Alec. It wasn't hard for Alec to fit his body right next to Magnus's, they had done this night after night for a few years now. Magnus was barely stirring so Alec tried to keep his cold nose from touching Magnus.
Alec laid there. He wasn't thinking of anything in particular. He was just laying there, wanting desperately to wake Magnus up and talk to him. He couldn't do that though. Tomorrow, Alec had to go back to the Institute and Magnus had to take care of the kids. If Magnus was tired in the morning, he would feel even worse.
With out thinking Alec wedged his still-cold-nose into the crook of Magnus's neck. Magnus woke with a start.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." Alec's voice sounded thick in his own ears. He didn't realize why until Magnus turned over to wipe the tears away from Alec's cheeks.
"Darling, what's wrong?" Magnus was awake now.
Great going, Alec thought to himself, Now he's going to be tired tomorrow morning and it's all my fault. He couldn't bring himself to talk.
Instead Magnus brought Alec closer to him. Alec's head was resting on Magnus's chest. He found comfort in the steady beating of Magnus's heart, in the steady rise and fall of his chest when he breathed.
"What is it?" Magnus asked again.
"I'm sorry, Magnus," Alec was able to mutter out between his silent sobs.
"For waking me up? Honey, there's no need to get upset over that," Magnus joked. He was trying to cheer Alec up, and it almost worked.
"No." Alec rolled off of Magnus and sat up on the edge of the bed. "I haven't been here. I haven't been helping here at home as much as I should. We have two kids and you're the one who's always taking care of them and I should be here to help. I know Jace and Clary need help but why am I off helping with their kid when I should be here watching ours? I'm a horrible father. I am a horrible boyfriend. Why do you even let me stick around? I'm almost never home, and when I am it's usually way past midnight. You and the kids are always in bed when I come home. I'm never here for you, Magnus, why haven't you kicked me out yet?"
Half way through his speech, Magnus had placed his hand on Alec's shoulder. Now, Alec pulled away from the warlocks grip and walked out of the room.
"Alexander!" Magnus whisper-yelled in an attempt to keep the kids from waking.
Alec didn't even know where he was going. He wanted to leave the apartment. He felt like that was the best thing he could do for Magnus. Alec was sure the High Warlock of Brooklyn didn't need him. But he couldn't go out there in just his boxers.
There were tears pouring down his face. What had he done? He should have been home more often. He should have been home sooner. He should have helped with the kids. Now, Magnus was probably packing a bag for Alec.
A pair of strong arms wrapped around Alec's torso just before his knees gave out. Magnus dragged Alec over to the couch where the shadowhunter continued to weep.
"Alexander, darling," Magnus whispered. "You help as much as you can. You know you do. Sometimes you have to stay and help with Jace's kid, that's just the way it is. A nine-month-old baby is a lot harder to take care of than a three year old. Alec, I love you. I'll never stop. Just because you have to stay and work or help your parabatai doesn't mean you're a bad boyfriend. It surely doesn't mean you're a bad father."
Alec was quiet. He thought for sure Magnus would be mad at him. Why wasn't he? Alec would be mad at Magnus if their roles were reversed. Alec sniffled as he turned his head to look into his warlock's eyes.
Magnus brought his hand up to hold Alec's face. He kissed Alec's face. When he brought his face away, Alec could see the tears that lingered on Magnus's lips. Had he been crying that much?
"You don't have anything to be sorry for." Magnus pulled Alec into an embrace. "Go to sleep, dear."
Alec and Magnus stayed like that for a while. A few hours later, all Alec was aware of was the gentle sway as Magnus carried him into their bedroom.
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Ummm...
I... Uh... went back over this when I was done... Is this like... really sad to anyone else?
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Sorry... I have no idea why I made it so sad... oops...
Anyway, hope you liked it!
As I always say writer's block is a terrible sickness that I get on a regular basis so seriously you guys: I need ideas!
Thanks for reading!
