Press Play: A Connor Franta Story

Chapter Six

My hands shook as I rang the doorbell to Connor's house, glancing at my phone to see it was exactly six o'clock. He probably thinks I'm a creep I thought as the door swung open to a smiling Connor, "Come in!" he chanted.

"What's that smell?" I said as soon as I walked in, it was a mixture of vegetables and garlic and somewhat had me worried.

"Follow me!" he sang, grabbing my hand and pulling me into the kitchen where he had two plates piled with spaghetti with tomato sauce and garlic bread waiting. "Welcome to the restaurante de la Connor!"

"You really didn't have to go through all the trouble for this!" I was shocked, no guy had ever cooked for me.

"Please I boiled some water, put sauce in a pan, and garlic bread in the oven. I may have called my mommy twice for help but it was nothing," he laughed pulling out a chair for me.

"Well this is fantastic, I'm shocked," I hesitated. "Connor can we talk?"

"Sure..." he looked worried, his face drained of color.

"Why didn't you tell me about your videos?"

"Well honestly most of the time people already know and if they don't I'd rather not look concieted and tell them about the biggest accomplishment of my life. Sometimes it's refreshing to meet non youtubers, yes YouTube is a huge part of my life but I am still a semi normal person in reality."

"I watched every video you've ever made last night," his face was full of shock, he blushed. "Every video out there, every collab, vlog, everything!"

"Yeah? What do ya think after that?"

"I think you're an amazing person. You're truly hilarious, and so unique and clever. I'm totally jealous of your ability to make people laugh. I can recall more information about you from watching your videos than I think I can myself!"

"Thank you," I cut him off.

"I just think there's something about you, something special. Something that makes me want to open up to you and get close to you, but I am so worried you'll hurt me, but after everything that I have witnessed and googled and watched I can't imagine not falling in love with you after it all!" I paused, I could feel my cheeks burn and knew I was probably blushed to an extreme.

"I think you amazing, kind, and beautiful. I know there may be some things you don't want to share about yourself and I'm ok with that, we'll get there one day. I know that you may not be a youtuber or know everything there is to know about the YouTube, internet world and I'm ok with that." I was hanging onto his every word. "I don't know how anyone could look into your eyes and not want to kiss you. Hear your voice and not want to talk all day. Hold your hand and want to let go. See you and not want to love you."

Our eyes meet and locked, you could feel the words in the silence. For a while we just ate and stared at one another. When we finished, Connor lead me to the backyard and into a hammock. We stared up at the stars, surprisingly visible through the L.A. smog, completely silent. The most comfortable silence I had ever been apart of. I turned and looked at Connors profile, admiring his perfect features until he turned to face me. For a moment we stared at each other and before I knew it I found myself speaking and not able to control it, like word vomit.

"I came to L.A. to runaway from life back home. About three years ago, my older brother Drew was coming home from the grocery store with milk, he was going through an intersection when a drunk driver ran a red light and crashed into him, killing him instantly," I could feel my eyes fill with tears, but I held them back. "We were really close, it was hard on me. Hell it was hard on everyone, but I felt lost without him for so long. That's when I really got into photography, I took pictures of everything Drew was missing. However while I was throwing myself into my photos, my dad was throwing himself into drugs and alcohol and ended up leaving us. My mom and I got along alright for a few months but one day she came home saying she had quit her job and expected me to support her. She drained my bank account, and my college fund." Connor wiped a few stray tears from my face. "So I got a second job that she didn't know about, saved every dime from that job and hid it until I had enough to get away for a fresh start. So that's how I ended up in L.A., a fresh start," I stopped and froze in the silence. I had thrown everything out to him and all I could hope was that he would accept me.

Connor reached forward and hugged me tighter than anyone ever had in my entire life. And for the first time in a long time I felt whole again.