xx. poop head

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by cIayevans

by cIayevans

"Come on, Cliff," Laurel laughed, almost whining, as she stroked Toaster's head. "Let me listen to some Red Hot Chili Peppers."

"No. I'm not in a music mood," he said, making her huff and rest her head on Jared's shoulder.

"Fine, you poop head," she mumbled.

Jared laughed, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. Her exhaustion was clear to him, but she had insisted that they go out for the movie and dinner. She hadn't wanted to miss out on tonight because she was a little tired.

Her eyes were trained forward when she noticed something that shouldn't have been happening; a white SUV was headed out of a gas station much too quickly, straight towards a small Ford vehicle. Jared could feel her stiffen under his touch as the two cars collided many yards ahead of them. The small car jerked to the side and then rolled twice, it's final resting point across the six lane road from where it started.

"Oh my god," she muttered, a hand coming up to cover her mouth.

And then she started trembling uncontrollably, even though they were far from the accident and they were safe. Toaster had crawled up onto the backseat with them, trying to comfort her human. Cliff knew what was happening, but he had no idea what to do to help her, so instead he focused on calling 911 and then pulling over to the woman who had been hit.

"Laur? Laur, are you okay?" Jared said, looking down at her. "Shit, you're having a panic attack, what can I do?"

"Call Jensen," she said shakily. "He knows what to do to help me, call him."

And so he pulled his phone out of his pocket. when she whimpered, him having shifted and was touching her less, he unbuckled her and pulled her into his lap and wrapped both arms around her. She cuddled into him, Toaster's nose now pressed against her arm, as he dialed Jensen's number and put the phone on speaker. He thankfully answered the phone after just a few rings.

"Jared? Why the hell are you calling me, aren't you at dinner with Laurel?"

"No," he said, his holding tightening on her as she shook like a leaf. "She's having a panic attack. Fix it, I don't know what to do."

"Laur, honey, you need to breathe," Jensen said, assuming correctly that Jared had put him on speaker. "In and out, in and out. It's been three years, you are not in that moment again right now. You are safe. Deep breaths, deep breaths."

"It was a car accident," she said, her voice broken as she explained to him what had caused her panic attack. "They just came out of nowhere and hit the other car. I can't even look to see if anyone is hurt. I can't... I can't do it, Jen."

"It's not you in that car, okay? It's not Kendall either. It's been three years. I need you to hug Toaster and tangle your fingers in her fur and hell, smell the damn dog. Remind yourself that you're alive, that it isn't three years ago. And then let Jared hold you, okay?"

"He's already holding me," she admitted, a shaky chuckle leaving her mouth. "But God, that was... Thank you, Jensen. I feel somewhat better."

"Okay. When you guys get back, pack a bag and come spend the night in my trailer."

"Thank you. Go grab cookie dough from my trailer. Hell, even grab the cat. I'll pack my own clothes. I just want fresh cookies."

"Will do, see you when you get back," he said. "Do you need me to stay on the line any longer?"

She shook her head, forgetting that he couldn't see her, "No, thank you though. For all of that. I'm sorry."

"No problem. And never apologize for it, Laurel Imogen."

"Thank you," Jared added. "Bye, Jen."

Laurel and Jensen also bid their goodbyes, then he hung up the phone. She took a shaky breath, running her hands through her hair.

"I'm sorry for that. If you didn't pick that up, I was in a bad car accident three years ago. That's... that's why I have Toaster. She's a service dog, as I have really bad PTSD."

"You don't have to tell me anymore if you're not ready," he said, sensing how tense she was.

"Oh thank God," she sighed, his hold on her loosening as she reached out so she could hold Toaster closer to her. "I'm just not emotionally ready to explain. Is there any way we could postpone tonight? I just... I don't think I can handle this right now."

"No problem," he said - watching her as she clung to her dog - with a sad smile on his face.

And so they waited as Cliff gave a statement to the police officers about what they saw, then he told them not to talk to the two adults in the car because the one had had a panic attack and the other was a celebrity, meaning this could bring negative publicity to his image. And when he climbed back into the driver's seat, Jared told him to take them back to set, and he listened to them, turning on the album that Laurel had wanted to listen to.

alice's note

this chapter is one i've been waiting to write since i started this book. toaster was created bc of a tv show i saw about ptsd dogs and the car accident angle is based around personal experiences. so please be gentle with this chapter, i worked hard on it.

this also marks ⅓ of the way through the book!

[ 12.8.16 ]
[ edited | 12.19.18 ]