Coming Outta The Locker Room (BoyxBoy)

Game Night

I woke up with the phone pressed against my ear. Ralph and I have been doing that for the last three months. I told him that I couldn't sleep unless his voice filled my ears. So we call each other and fall asleep on the phone.

We had school today so I shut my phone off and head to the bathroom. Today was actually a very important day. Ralph and I have been together for nearly five months..

Today we're going to hold hands in public. I'm going to break up Amy and go punlic with Ralph. I look into the mirror. I'm scared to death. I felt dizzy and things started to go black.

No. No. Jamie we have to get ready for school. Get ready.

Do this for Ralph.

I brush my teeth and wash my face. Doesn't take veey long. Then I went back into my room to get dressed. Nothing fancy. Just dark jeans and a blue shirt. The blue brings out my hair and makes my eyes bluer.

I grab my bag and walk down stairs. I grab my morning banana and walked out to my car. I mentally prepare for this day. I carefilly did so because passing out at the wheel would not be so good.

So I let my mind drift to the upcoming game tonight. I can't risk passing out while driving. Last weeks game was hard. Ralph was there but was getting messed with by everyone. So I told him not to come.

It broke his heart and I hating doing so but I cannot risk him getting hurt because I was selfish and wanted him at me game. I would rather him be home... Oh wait no I don't..

I close my eyes for a split second. My Ralph is not safe anyway. I wish school was better for him. I wish his home was safer for him....

Soon enough I arrive at school and it pulls my mind away from my depressing thoughts about my love not being safe.

Now it brings me back to the attention of reality.

My heart pounds inside my chest. I park my car in my spot. Everyone was in school already and Ralph was waiting for me outside the door. I gotnout of my car and slowly made my way to him.

When I got there he greeted me with a kiss and took my hand.

"Are you ready?" He asked and held my hand tight.

I didn't answer but I squeezed tight. Ralph began to open the door. My heart started to race and I felt the lighted headedness again. I can't do this! I can't do this.

I quickly let go of Ralph's hand and ran the opposite direction. Leaving a heart broken Ralph to enter the school alone. I ran to the conor and threw up on the side.

Then I got back into my car and drove home. Tears spilled over and soon sobs rocked my body. My eyes were blurry from my tears. Same words were playing through my head over and over again.

Coward.

Coward.

Coward.

Coward.

Coward.

Coward. 

Coward.

Coward.

Coward.

Coward.

Coward.

Coward.

Coward.

You fucking Coward.

Coward.

Coward.