Coming Outta The Locker Room (BoyxBoy)

Avoiding

It's been about 2 months.. Ralph has been in a coma and no one is sure when he will come out. I barely leave my room I am so depressed. How could I let that happen and worse of all I haven't seen him once... I am a horriable boyfriend and person!!!

I felt the tears rush down my cheeks. All I ever do is cry these days... School is a bigger drag and I don't feel up to seeing my friends anymore.. There is nothing left in me so all I do is lay around in bed.

Just waiting for something to happen. I go on Ralph's facebook and delete all his hate mail and posts by other ass holes. He doesn't need that....

I sit back in my chair and stare at the screen.. What am I doing!!! I should be there everyday! I should be there to hold his hand so the first thing he sees when he wakes up is me. Not his rapist of a mother..

I felt more tears bubble down my cheeks.. I can't... People would think something is up between us or think that their is something more then friends.. I can't let anyone know I'm gay..

Not yet that is...

I lay back on my bed and pop in my head phones and cry to Say something I'm giving up on you... The one without the fat ass woman what's her name I don't know and don't care..

I listen to that song because I pray to a god I don't believe in that Ralph doesn't feel this way. I love you Ralph.. I'm just afraid of who I am...

Soon my eyes drift off to sleep into a night filled with nightmares of Ralph leaving me.. Hours go by and I awake in a cold sweat and tears running down my cheeks.. I quickly whip them away and try to go back to bed...

I stare at the time amd shut my alarm off before it goes off.. I swing my legs over rhe edge and walk to the bathroom and wash my face and brush my teeth.

When I finished I went back into my room and dressed... I just put on black sweat pants with a red shirt and a dark gray hoodie over it and went down stairs and grabbed a banana and apple.. Which I won't eat anyways...

I go out to my car and slide in and drive to school.... I get there before anyone else does like always.. I go and stand in our spot but I know I'll jusr be alone here... I quickly stop thinking of Ralph before I start crying....

The place started to fill up with kids and I just went inside and went to my locker to get to my next class.. Which really school is just a place I go through now... I just sit in class wait until the teacher shuts the hel up and go on...

When lunch finally rolls on by I just sit at the table.. I don't talk to these ass holes aymore. Now I am thankful I am graduating because then I will never see them again.

Then there is James lovey James.. He was the ring leader my best friend actually almost killed the love of my life. He tries to talk to be but inside he is dead to me. I just nod at him or just give him the fake ass smile we taugh each other.. He's pretty stupid so he hasn't caught on...

Dumb ass...

Anyways when lunch ends I just gonto class and repeat the same thing.. Sit and wait for the last bell. When the last bell rings I go tommy locker get home work amd gonto my car and drive home.

I greet my mother. Guess dad never came back whatever I hope he is dead.. Anyways I set the table. Eat my dinner. Shower. Go to my room..

Once I'm in my room. I go on Ralph's facebook. Delete hate mail. Close of of his facebook. Listen to music.. Go to bed.

As soon as I lay in bed.. Its never the same. I let my tears run down my face and I let it all loose. I cry until I can't cry anymore. My heart aches and my stomach hurts. Some nights I puke and some nights I don't...