Untitled (frerard)

helena my way

it was hard decision to make.

Frank's POV

When I stabbed Gee it felt like I stabbed myself. I gave him my heart so my heart no longer belongs to me but to him.

He died (naturally) and just lay there dead.

He won't wake up. It's been 9 hours now. Usually they wake up after 4 longest 6 hours. I can't. I killed him. Something went wrong. What happened? Gee is dead and I gave him my heart, I'll die now. I will literally die now. I can't live on without him. I killed the men I love. I stabbed him in the heart. I'm a killer. And I'm selfish. I shouldn't have done it. I just couldn't bare to even think he'd die very soon. Humans live very short. We talked about it. He knew the risk. I knew it too. Why did I do that? What a horrible person I am? I killed him. I had to tell people he's dead. I don't care what will happen to me. Now he's dead I'll die too anyway. I picked the phone up and called everyone I had to to tell them Gerard has passed away. I cried a lot. Ray came to help me dealing with it. Nothing could make me feel better, I felt like someone ripped my heart from my chest and stumped on it, then let the truck run it over and then jumped on it a bit more, and the whole time I could still feel what was happening to it. I wrote a song, more than one actually but. I couldn't stay in the apartment anymore. Everything reminded me of him. I went to Ray's house. Funeral will be three days from now.

I couldn't sleep or eat or anything. I just felt numb. The funeral come. I don't think I can handle this.

Everything was black and read, like Gee would like it to be. He had plain black coffin. I dressed all in black with a red tie. For some reason I put black X on my eyes, it was my special way of expressing sorrow. We went to the funeral.

I actually cried. how can I be so evil? I'm literally so mad at myself. what is wrong with me? I should be punished for this

do not kill the ones u love

~meggie~