I will be loved! (BWWM)

Chapter Twenty Four

Danielle's Prov:

How do you decide who the prefect guy for you is? How do you make a decision like that? I thought I had made the right choice when I choose to be with Ben. Thinking that moving on from my first love and starting a new chapter in my life was exactly what I needed to do. But when it came down to it, that was the only reason I had picked Ben over Luke, because he was new. He was different and he helped me stop thinking about Luke. But when I eliminated that part, they were both the same to me. Not like they are the same person. But the way the stack up is equal to one another. And it is beyond frustrating.

I mean I have done list after list, online test, and even flipped a coin a few times. But nothing worked. And deep down I knew why none of it worked. It didn't work because what I was doing wasn't coming from my heart, it was coming from my head. Everything I did was just pointless unless I used my heart. And right now my heart was torn into two pieces. Did I stay with Ben, and leave Luke behind completely. Or did I leave Ben, and go back to Luke. Both seemed like something I didn't want to do.

I zipped up my suit case and sat down on the bed that I have been using for the last two weeks. I came here to try and help me understand who I should be with. But all I really got out of these past two weeks was a great time with my best friends. Memories that we would have never gotten if we weren't here. Being here gave me the distraction that I needed though. Because until right now I hadn't really thought about Ben or Luke that much.  I mean don't get me wrong they did cross my mind every once in a while. But Tabby and Penelope made sure that my mind quickly was on to a new subject. So I really didn't have time to think of what I wanted. And now here I was about to go home and I still had no idea what to do. 

"Danielle I hope your ready to go, because Tabby is getting really antsy and hungry." Penelope said to me as she opened the door and walked in.  I nodded my head at her words and got up from the bed. "Are you okay hun?" She questioned me as she walked further into the room. 

"Yeah I am okay. I just still don't know what I want to do Pen. I mean these past two weeks have been amazing. I honestly am so happy we came, but all this did was run away from my problems. And now I am on my way back to them, more confused then I was when I left." I explained to her. She gave me a sad small smile. 

"Can I give you my honest opinion?" She asked me as she walked closer to where I was. 

"Of course you can. You know your opinion means a lot to me." I said to her causing her to smile. 

"You can't pick between them, because that isn't what you should be doing. In my opinion, I think you should let them both go."

"So I shouldn't be with Ben or Luke is what your saying?" I questioned her. 

"What I am saying is that you have been with Luke before and it didn't work out. You have been with Ben and that didn't work out. You tried being with them both and that really didn't work out. So I think the best thing for you to do is to let them both go. It doesn't matter how much time you have to think about it, your never going to be able to pick between them. Because you really don't know who you are fully. You don't know anything about your past Danielle, you don't know what you want to do with your future, because you don't know who are are. I think that you need to let them both go." 

Her words caught my breath. It literally felt like it was beyond hard to breath. I moved back until I was back sitting on the bed. Penelope followed me as I did so. 

"Danielle, are you okay?" She asked me. But I still hadn't been able to caught my breath. I held up my hand to let her know I needed a minute. I had never thought of leaving them both. Never once did that thought cross my mind, because the whole time I thought that I needed to pick one of them. That I just couldn't let them both go. But the fact of the matter was I could let them both go. No one needed to get hurt, I didn't need to choose one guy over the other. I didn't need to pick, I could let them both go.