Redemption.

Chapter 5: Taking Risks

Diamond

10:23 PM

I laid in bed bawling my eyes out. That's all I could do for the rest of the day was cry. Earlier when Patrick was going home, I squatted down to hug Owen and he softly gripped my face, "Don't be sad mommy. I'll always love you, and I know daddy will too." He said as he gave me a smile and wiped my tears away. Owen will always be my prince. He should've been the first thing on my mind when I made those dumb choices. I feel so damn selfish!

I've been trying to get a hold of Anthony since Patrick and Owen had left, but it keeps going straight to voicemail. Tammy won't talk to me. She's so upset about earlier, I don't think I'll be seeing her for a while. That's another reason for my tears. Tammy, aside from my mother, was always my support and source of advice.

Tears soaked my pillow as I sobbed lightly. "Mommy?"

I peered towards the door, where both Christian and Antonio stood. "Hey babies, what's wrong?" I asked.

"We can't sleep, mommy." Antonio replied.

"Com'ere."

I patted the empty sides of the bed. Both climbed on either side of me. "Mommy, why are you crying?" Antonio asked, facing me.

"Mommy's sad baby." I told.

"Why are you sad?"

They're both getting to that phase where they begin to ask numerous questions. I sighed, not knowing of an answer to give him. "You won't understand, Toni."

"Why?"

"Just go to sleep baby."

"Okay."

They both cuddled up under me and closed their eyes. Only if I could do the same.

7:41 AM

When I opened my eyes, the boys were gone. They must've gotten up already. I sauntered over to my bathroom and flicked the light on. My reflection in the mirror looked terrible. My eyes were red and puffy, gray streaks from tears stretched across my face, my hair was a mess, I was just a total wreck. I couldn't stand the sight of myself. I washed my face, brushed my teeth and threw my hair in a high bun.

I ambled my way downstairs, where I found the boys and my mom eating breakfast. "Good morning, I decided to make breakfast today just to save you some time." My mom greeted.

"Good morning," I replied, my voice sounding different from my stuffed nose.

"Come sit down, Diamond." She patted the seat next to her. I sat down and rubbed my face.

"Whatever's going on between you, Patrick and Anthony...it needs to be squashed. This has been going on for too long, Diamond. For years. What Anthony did yesterday was wrong on so many levels. I can't believe he did that in front of the kids and everyone there. He really showed his ass. His true colors. I don't want you with a man like that, Diamond," she shook her head. "I was scared for my life. I don't know what I would have done if he would have pulled that trigger."

"I don't know either mami." I replied, tearing up.

"Stop your crying Diamond. Crying will never solve your problems, you need to start to take action."

I wiped my eyes dry and shook my head. "I don't know what to do mom. Anthony will be arrested if he comes back, I won't know what I'll say to the kids and I sure as hell don't know how we'll get back home without him. I have no money for bail."