It keeps replaying in my mind.
Last night was amazing
And beyond magical.
You were perfect.
Everything was perfect.
I was never so happy till last night.
You had me laughing to the point that I snorted.
Which led to you laughing and choking.
It was fun.
Amazing.
Wonderful.
And that fucking terrifies me.
It's four A.M and I'm still awake.
It was an amazing time,
But it was so amazing it brought back memories.
Bad ones.
It always happens.
I get slightly happy,
Then I remember bad shit.
I lay on my side,
The shouts of my parents have died down by now.
And I'm left staring at the picture frame on my bedside table.
With my own thoughts.
You're so much like him, it's terrifying.
His smiling face stuck forever in that time.
If only I could go back.
I miss his smile, hugs, kisses,
Love.
But it's all gone now.
Is it?
You suddenly came.
And damn.
You have no idea how much you two are alike.
It kills me,
But heals me too.
I should tell you,
But I'm too afraid.
What if you'll leave?
I'm too selfish and afraid to let go.
I sigh as I lay on my back.
I rub my new black eyesl, wincing.
Damn, and the other one had just healed too.
I blindly reach for the picture.
Grabbing it, I hold it to my chest.
I close my eyes,
Imagining the old times over and over.
Wishing.
Regretting.
I open my eyes, see nothing but a blur.
It clears as I feel something hot trail down my face.
I curl into a ball on my side,
And hold his picture close.
I curse.
I won't sleep and I work later today.
