Uncertainty | Phan (Story One)

Four

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"Hi!" I smiled at the screen of younow. I was happy to be doing a liveshow tonight. "I know on Thursday I promised to do a longer one tonight but we're having friends over so I have to get off early. We can still have fun!" I clapped and welcomed everyone in. 

I saw all of the commenters in the chat shout random things as I made loud noises with my mouth between reading things. 

"Dil! Yes I said Dil was soon and it is! We're almost done editing it.. It should be up by Friday so be prepared... it's a good time." I chuckled at them. 

Half an hour went by as we talked about literally everything and anything. But I heard Liz downstairs a little after that. I guess it was starting now. 

"Um... Pizza's here. I should go soon." I lied. Phil is right they don't need to know yet. I felt my happy mood leave and as I finished reading some of the premium messages, my answers were shorter and snappier. 

"Dan you seem u- um it's okay I'm just really hungry." I once again lied. "Alright. Dil soon be prepared for that. I'll talk to you next week. You're all great... do what makes you happy." I smiled and quickly left so no one could plant ideas in others heads.

I shut down my computer then took deep breaths before putting a fake smile on my face and left to the lounge.

"He arrives!" Phil smiled at me. Liz and another girl were there chatting away. Phil had wine in his hand, untouched. 

"I see you're enjoying your wine." I smirked.

"It's great." He lied and rolled his eyes at to me. 

"You really think so? I was thinking maybe that one should be the special drink at our wedding!" Liz bounced up and down.

"Really? Liz... with how many people you're inviting alone plus how much it costs for just one bottle... that's a lot of money." Phil whispers so no one else hears but like I said he's a horrible whisperer. 

"Baby it's our wedding!" She pouts. 

"Alright yeah." He sighs and leans into the wall more. She squeals in happiness and walks off with her friend.

"Baby please let's spend literally all of our savings on a ring and wine and a party and then even more on our wedding!" I mocked her angrily. 

"Stop it Dan!" Phil snapped at me. 

"Hey. You think I want to be here with her annoying voice? This is my house too Phil. If it was my choice you'd have this stupid party in Hell." I snapped back and stormed to the door that had just rung. 

I opened it to see people I've never seen before so I guessed it was just Liz's family. Without a word, I allowed them in and then shut the door just to go find Phil.

But sadly I couldn't so I just got a drink from the kitchen. We had the vodka I mentioned and some old beer. I wasn't going to drink champagne. 

People slowly started arriving as I slowly started getting buzzed. Don't drink your sorrows away kids.

I saw my buddy Pj in the corner looking uncomfortable and sipping wine so I went over there. 

"Dan!" He was glad to see me. "What the fuck is this? Phil said 'hey I'm getting married come to my place on Tuesday where we're having a party for it' and then all these random people show up!" He looks over at all the people we didn't know. "Plus have you even seen him? I saw him go into the kitchen once but that was it..." 

"I haven't actually. But have you met Liz? God I hate her." I roll my eyes. He laughs lightly. "What?"

"You've never liked any of Phil's girlfriends. Remember two years ago? Stephanie? You filled her car with bees which she was deathly allergic to. Then Alison. You made it seem Phil had ditched her." He chuckled. 

"What no I don't remember that..." I eyed him in confusion. 

"That's because you were hammered when you did it. Honestly Dan... I know how much Phil means to you but you take it so far." He walked off with a shrug. 

He did mean a lot to me. That may be why he didn't introduce me to Liz. He thought I would ruin this relationship too. I either didn't want Phil to be taken from me or jealous... or both. Yeah it was probably both.

With a shrug, I ignored my thoughts and drank the rest of the cup in my hand and went to get more. 

Five more of the alcoholic drinks, I was officially drunk. I think I even scared some of Liz's friends to go home early. 

"Dan!" Phil pulled me into the empty hallway. "What the hell are you doing! You know what it looks like to get drunk at an engagement party?" 

"Pathetic I know." I groaned and held my head which ached.. How to get rid of it? More alcohol. 

"Just lighten up of the stuff okay?" He took my cup but I grabbed it back and then went into the kitchen and met Pj in there who was getting more wine. 

"Dan" He looked at me then groaned. "Dammit Dan. Why do you have to be like this?"

"Why does he even like Liz? There's nothing to like about that rat." I ignored his comment to complain and drink straight from the vodka bottle with a look of disgust on my face. 

"Because she's pretty and nice. And she doesn't get drunk when she's upset." He took the bottle away from me which made me pout.

"Can I have everyones attention for a moment?" I heard Phil in the lounge with a loud voice. Pj and I left the kitchen to listen. I snuck the bottle out with me so my friend here couldn't take it. 

Everyone stopped talking eventually which left all attention on him like he wanted.

"I'm happy you're all here tonight. I've had fun meeting all of you and learning about Liz's family. I cannot wait to marry my angel. You're all welcome to stay as long as you like. Thank you!" He smiled at everyone. 

We met eye contact from across the room and in that second it was like he ripped my heart out and stomped on it. I took a giant gulp of the vodka then left for my room.

To say I was upset was like saying deserts are warm. An understatement. 

I sat on my bed, sipping my drink and staring at the wall. When someone opened the door, I didn't turn to see them but I did mumble "go away" which I mean is something. 

"Dan..." Pj sat on the bed next to me. "This is really bothering you huh?" I began crying in his shoulder and cuddling the bottle of alcohol. 

"I guess with the others I had say. But now it's a commitment I can't ruin it." I whined. "He really loves her." I sniffed. I felt Pj's head nod against my head which made me sob harder. 

He didn't move or complain but instead he let me cry as hard and long as I needed to as he sat there and rubbed my shoulder. He was a good friend. 

"Why does it hurt so much?" I asked quietly.

"Because it's real, Dan." Pj replied in the same level. "How about you get some rest okay? I'll bring you water but just lay down." He helped me get comfy and left my room. 

He brought in water like he said he was going to but then turned off my light to leave me to myself where I cried myself to sleep yet again.