LE CHRONICLES OF JAKE

river mama(homo mermaid)

The river mama is an old Jamaican tale of a mermaid enchanting people with her singing and a golden comb.

I badass Jake decided to uuh investigate said tall tale.

I went to a river and sat there the whole night,when I saw a head emerged from the water

I was like who is swimming this time of night  so I left because I don't wanna be there when she dies I don't do eyewitness.

As I'm leaving she throws a golden comb onto the bank I look at it and realize its the river mama.

I ran to get the comb and leave but the come wouldn't leave the ground and my hand was stuck to it.

The river mama raised all the up out of the water and what I saw was a huge scaly ball sack.

At that point I was screaming as fuck,in disbelief knowing I was gonna raped by a homosexual mermaid.

I mean he's there smiling  and holding his nut sack. He then took my shirt off and realized I had no tits. Maybe TrUE story.

It started screaming and pointing at my shirt mainly because it was pink he pulled up another shirt that was pink but it belonged to a woman that went

missing about a week ago (week ago) fuck with us and then we tweaking hoe(tweaking hoe) hot Nigga couldn't resist.

So basically because pink is a WOMANS  colour PEOPLE.
That's y he thought I was female
He let  me go disappointed of not getting Any pussy.

So what have we learned don't wear pink men or u will get kidnapped by a homo mermaid