Dan Howell Imagines/One Shots

Why do we do this? (Part 3)

WARNING: SAD AND FLUFFY

ps, while I was writing this, this song came on - (one above) - you should totally listen to it while reading this chapter because like DAMN the lyrics relate, ok ty enjoy.

You arrived back at your flat, opening and closing the door and hearing the echo of the door shutting ricochet throughout your empty flat. As the sound bounced off the walls and met your ears, your eyes filled with sadness even more than before. You walked down your hallway and to your bathroom, opening the door and standing in front of your bathroom mirror. You saw yourself, tears slowly rolling down your cold, flushed cheeks. You turned to your side to gather some tissue to pat away your tears. You inhaled deeply, snuffling and sighing loudly as you exhaled.

You remember the thought that crossed your mind when you first were greeted by Dan earlier in the evening.

'Will I regret this?'

You didn't want too, but you certainly did regret it. There was just something that felt so right at the time, yet so wrong. There were faint moments where your mind was telling you no, but your body was overloaded with yes. (SORRY I HAD TOO, if you get the reference that is, tried to make it less cringe worthy lol)

You just couldn't help yourself, you were overwhelmed with emotion in the moment. Though it wasn't just ordinary sex, it felt right, it felt like you both did really miss each other. There was the same fiery passion that you both had and felt when you were together. Your mind couldn't let go of the feelings and thoughts of Dan. It wasn't even that you had a long relationship but you were friends before you became a thing and you worked really hard at building your friendship.

It was as though you had lost, not only the person you cared dearly for, but your best friend as well. Though you had only known each other 2 years. Everything just felt right with him, he gave you the sweet and caring side you craved but also the bad boy side that you also desperately desired. After wiping your tears you headed to your bedroom. You left the room in pitch black, not turning on any lights as you entered. You slumped yourself down on your bed, rolling on to your left hand side.

Dan's POV:

My sadness soon turned to anger. Why did I just let her leave like that? Though, if I had stopped her, she would have wanted an explanation. One that I did not have and could not give her. I resented myself right now, I desperately craved her touch for so long, I gave in to that pressure and all it was good for was the moment. The aftermath of it all was way worse than I imagined.

I did miss her, I just couldn't fit everything in. I was scared I couldn't give her what she wanted and I never felt enough. Though she told me I was, I doubted her. I told her that we should go our separate ways after we fucked like we missed each other and I could swear for a second there was some doubt in her mind. Even though she nodded in agreement. It kinda hurt that she so easily agreed, I didn't want to go our separate ways, I just thought that was what she wanted.

I sat, exactly where she left me. On the edge of my bed, surrounded by my drowning thoughts. I questioned if I should text her but I didn't want to bother her, she was probably trying to get on with her life. She did say that it would be best for her to leave. Though was that a cry for attention, for me to sort my shit out and actually go and see her?

I decided to throw some clothes on and walk to her flat. I had no idea what I was going to say, why I was going or what my intentions were but it felt like the right thing to do. I grabbed my phone and key and hurried out the door, that she passed through a little while before. I began to rush down my stairs and out of my building, making my way in to the light rain that flowed from the deep sky.

Your POV:

You lay there, desperate that you would feel your phone buzz in your pocket. Hoping it would be Dan obviously. You longed for him to text, just something. You didn't care what, just a small text was all you wanted more than anything right now. After squirming around the left side of your bed, you decided that you couldn't lay around any longer. You needed to get up and sort yourself out.

Deciding the best remedy would be to go for a walk with loud music. Music calmed you, and so a walk in the brisk weather would balance out your hot, overwhelmed emotions. You grabbed your phone and headed towards the door. Exiting through it for the second time tonight, but this time to actually make you feel better.

For the second time this evening, you headed out into the cold night. The sky was a deep shade of blue, mixed with a few dark grey clouds. You took some deep breaths as the cold air flowed through your coat, bringing the heat of your thoughts to a cool, relaxed mind. You felt the rain trickle down your cheeks, just as your tears once did earlier. It felt refreshing, knowing the raindrops weren't tears. You delved into your pocket to rummage for your headphones before realizing you never picked them up. You shrugged it off and decided to let the street noises drown your thoughts instead.

Naturally, for some reason, your mind began taking you down his street. It was too late to turn back as you saw someone oncoming and so it would look weird and awkward for you to 360 it now. As the dark shadow grew closer you heard your name.

Dan's POV:

I saw y/n heading towards me. Or what I thought was y/n, I certainly hoped it was her.

"Y/N?" I called out. I really hope it was her, it would be awkward if not.

The dark shadow came to a halt, their once low hung head, now looked directly at me. I stepped closer once I realised it was her.

"Wh-a-wh-y.. I don't wanna see you" She began stuttering. It hurt to hear her say that.

"Bu-t..." I walked closer to her, she took a step back, looking back down toward her feet.

I slid my hand along her face, trying to lightly nudge her chin up so she would look at me. She shook her head away and I began feeling empty.

"Pl-lease y/n" I began begging, just for her to talk to me.

"Why do we do this?" She asked that all too familiar question that I couldn't answer.

"Ju-st pl-ease" I began, I pulled my body closer to hers.

Her soft *eye colour* eyes met mine as I lent into her space. My hands slipped around her jaw and I began cupping her face.

"I'm sorry" I whispered.

Slowly in that moment, our lips connected. Fireworks were sent throughout my body and I felt goosebumps travel down my arms as we prolonged the kiss. This kiss wasn't just an ordinary kiss. It was a kiss that said a thousand words that we could both never string together. It was a kiss that said "I'm sorry", "I've missed you" and "I love you" all in one.

I never thought I would love anyone so soon, but I do and that's why I could never give her the answer. Because honestly, why were we doing this? Why were we trying to fool ourselves? Not only ourselves but each other? We needed each other and we would just have to make it fit.

As the kiss seemed to last a lifetime, I felt myself beginning to start the rest of my life. A life I wanted to spend with her. The rain fell down around us, making us soaked. We didn't care. We were holding the one thing that we did care about and that was each other.

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a/n: holy moly that was long. idk i never write fluffy stuff but i kinda really liked this idea and this 3 part. it got good votes and someone requested a part 3, even though i never planned the part 3 lol so this is pure on the spot, but i like it nonetheless and i hope you did too

this story is nearly at 100 votes lol what thats crazy and almost at 2K reads.. again... lol what? thats crazy and amazing and thank you

i have a few more ideas and stuff that i'm gunna write then after that i'm just gunna update and re-write some stuff, making sure it looks proper and all that jazz

anyway toodlepip for now