Bulletproof and Vulnerable. An Andy Biersack Love Story (Ftmxboy)

Chapter 1: Memories

Transgender: Transgender people are people who have a gender identity , or gender expression, that differs from their assigned sex.

"Alice! Dinners ready!" My mother shouts from the bottom of the stairs. I sigh deeply, Pushing my laptop off my lap and standing up from my bed. "I'm not Alice" I mutter quietly as I always do when called that name. I catch a glimpse of myself in the full length mirror hanging from my wall when I walk across my room and sigh once more. 'It'll be different one day' I think to myself, in attempt to stop the tears that always come to my eyes when I see myself.  Why did I have to be born female? This isn't who I am. It'll never be me.  I'm Jason, not Alice. But I can't tell anyone, I'd be hated.

I bounce down the stairs as fast as my super skinny jeans allow. People are always telling me they're too tight, especially when they see the red marks they leave. But if they give me smaller hips, its worth it.

"I made spaghetti" Says mom, handing me a small pink plate. I smile and mumble a thank you. She hits a smile back and turns around with a swish of her skirt. I sit down at the table, carelessly dropping my plate down as I pull out my seat. She turns back around sharply, a frown on her brow. "Respect the furniture, lady"

I roll my eyes and cringe inside. Me and my mother could not be more different, she had ginger hair to her shoulders she curled inwards, so she could look similar to my grandmother. Makeup galore, always sporting a red lip and eyelashes so dark they could block out the sun. Puffy sleeves, poofy skirts and kitten heals were her fashion choices. If her bra strap ever peaked out all you saw was different shades of pink or white lace. She was so 'Innocent housewife' it hurt.

Then there was me, dyed black hair down my back, only because I wasn't aloud to cut it. She would threaten to kick me out everytime I brought it up to her, regardless of how old I got. I always dressed the same, loose band shirts and ripped black jeans, the tightest sport bras I could find for a smaller bust, and my shoes were converse in the summer, leather boots in the winter, and I would never leave the house without my trusty leather jacket.

I pulled my phone out of my back pocket, and started twirling a fork in the spaghetti. I had a notification, telling me there was a band I might like coming to my city...The band? Black Veil Brides. A coldness went through my body, and my head went straight back to when I was 16...

"Oh Andy, these past few weeks with you have been amazing" I said with a small blush. "I could say the same to you, Al" He smiles back at me, placing a kiss on my forehead. "This day is gonna last forever, right?" I Joke, secretly wishing it would. "If only" He mumbles, hiding his blushing cheeks with his long dark hair.

"Alice? I asked you a question!" my mother snaps me out of my thoughts. "What mom?" I asked, my head still buried in thoughts. "Have you met any nice boys recently?" She smiles, she's been obsessed with me finding a nice man and settling down since I turned 18. It's strained our relationship severely, she just doesn't understand why I might want to be single. In her mind, there was nothing more important then being a wife and mother.
I sigh and look down at my food. "No mom" I mumble and stand up"Where are you going? You haven't touched your food!" She complains "I'll eat it later" I carelessly tell her as i jog back to my room. Normally I would wolf my food down like it was nothing, but after this reminder...I need to do some research. As soon as I reach my room I practically lunge for my laptop. What do I even search first?

I go onto google and type two words. 'Andy Biersack'

The most handsome man I've ever seen pops up on my screen. Dark clothing effortlessly clutching his thin frame, Black hair framing his flawless face, makeup showing off his cheekbones and jawline, they were so sharp they could cut glass. He looks so different then he did back then, but my God were they good changes.

And those eyes...He still had the same piercing blue eyes. The same ones I used to get lost in....

'Why am I doing this to myself?' I keep thinking. ' What good is this going to do, Jason? Staring at the man you're supposed to be falling OUT of love with'

Hours go by, all i've done is sit on my bed, looking at this man and his band. Stalking his profiles, seeing what he's been doing in the past 5 years...I have to go see him.

'You're making a mistake' the voice inside my head says as I click 'Buy tickets' But I don't care. One week. Just one week, and I'll be in the same room as Andy for the first time in 5 years.