Jasia

Broken

Warning this story contains mental illness and eating disorders. Please don't read if that is a sensitive subject for youX

Jac woke up to the sound of a kettle brewing. She automatically thought that Zosia was making some tea and that they were at her house. She opened her eyes and stared in confusion at the industrial ceiling. Then she remembered. All her emotions came back and she battled the threatening tears. She wondered why Zosia had left her. Maybe she was boring. Maybe she was too fat. She was too fat wasn't she. Zosia didn't want to be with her because she was fat. Jac stared down at her slender body. Slender to everyone else. Too her it looked like fat. She sat up and rushed to the toilets. She was too fat. It was her fault. She stuck her fingers down her throat and was sick into the toilet. She burst into tears again. Why was she so fat. She felt so bad, making someone not like her because she wasn't slim enough. She retched again and cried again, a process which seemed to go on for hours. She refused the breakfast that Essie offered her, saying she didn't feel too good.

•••
"ZOSIA!" Dom yelled as he walked towards her room, "time to get up for work!"
Zosia mumbled her response," I can't I'm busy."
Dom opened the door to Zosia's bedroom and peered inside.
She was sat in the middle of the floor surrounded by paper, he glanced at it, worried that she was relapsing.
"What's all this for Zosh? Are you okay?" Dom interrogated her.
Zosia smiled, " I'm fine. It's research that Jac wants for Friday, I need to get on with it."
Dom smiled and left her too it, he knew he had to pretend he wasn't concerned as too not put Zosia's guard up.
He shouted his goodbyes and then he left for work.
•••

Dom sprinted up 3 flights of stairs. He needed to find Jac. Ask her about the research, and why Zosia hadn't seen her recently.
He nocked on her office door and heard her call come in. He burst in and rushed over to the consultants desk.
"Did you give Zosia a research task?" He questioned, studying Jac's face. She looked pale.
Jac vaguely remembered giving someone a research project and guessed it must have been Zosia, "yeah I did. Why?" She replied
"Oh nothing!" Dom exclaimed, "just wondering, anyway are you okay?"
Jac shrugged him off and sent him back to Keller. She looked at her reflection in the glass top of her desk. She was ghostly white and she had bags under her eyes.
She sighed. She was ugly and fat. Zosia would never ever want her back. She grabbed her bag and headed for the lift, telling a nearby nurse to tell the team she was ill.
                                •••
Dom arrived home to a startlingly quiet house. He checked Zosia's room and saw that her papers where stacked neatly beside her bed, but she was nowhere to be seen. He checked all the other rooms and she wasn't there either. He presumed that she was out on a walk or something and would be back soon. He collapsed into bed, it'd been a busy day and he was in serious need of an early night.
                                  •••

Jac arrived back at her house and barely made it inside before she passed out on the sofa. Her body slumped awkwardly over the side of the sofa, and her head leant on a cushion.
                                •••

Dom awoke in the early hours of the morning, and knew at once that Zosia hadn't returned. Still he thought, maybe she went to the pub and ended up with someone. He slowly drifted back to sleep.
                                 •••

Jac woke up to her alarm on her phone. She picked herself up off the floor beside the sofa and showered and dressed herself in a floaty shirt, hiding her fat, as she told herself. She skipped breakfast and set off walking towards the hospital for her shift.
                                 •••