Dear Ex-Crushes

To: The Guy I Never Became Closed With

To: The Guy I Never Became Closed With

Dear Yang Hongseok,

In those six years where I liked Minseok, I also fell for other people. Because I didn't see Minseok often and you were part of my life for those short three years, I fell for you.

Don't ask my how and why. I don't know myself. I just remember back in Grade 4, my friends and a few of my classmates were playing tag. I miss those childish days where friends were made by a single round of a game. 

Moving on, so one of my classmates were friends with you and he invited you to play with us. Just like Minseok, I also fell for you at first sight. Funny, I have a tendency to fall for someone at first sight.

I don't know what it was with you that made me felt attracted to you. I think it was your glasses. It suited you so well, those black rimmed glasses that were placed on your face. You didn't look nerdy at all. Plus, you were great in both studies and sports. 

After the game, we had to head back to class and you were all that was on my mind. Who were you? What was your name? What class were you from? I wanted to know all of those.

Coincidentally, your friend was seated right next to where I sat so I took the time to ask him a few minor details regarding you. Your name was Yang Hongseok and you were from the class after us.

At that time, I was very addicted to Facebook so I tried to find out your account name and everything. Eventually, I did and I was proud of myself for actually being able to do something I can't do now. 

I tried chatting with you but you never replied. I wanted to have your number but I think you didn't have one at that time. I couldn't interact with you properly, yet, I still liked you? It made no sense. I couldn't understand the reason well myself but love, for me, was never the type that was never sure. I wasn't the clear type. I just went with the flow.

You showed a few signs you liked me too, I think. That, or everyone was telling me a lie and that I've been deceived by your actions as well. My friend from your class in Grade 4 once told me that you once asked about me and such but there were never clear and real signs, in all honesty. We never really talked nor interacted.

Then the next year in Grade 5, we were surprisingly put in the same class. I was too nervous to even enter the class because you were already seated in the seat near the door. Every time I was near my crush, I had the tendency to freeze. 

I entered with my friend, nevertheless, and sat next to her. What happened that year was nothing but a blurry and fuzzy dream that I'd rather not want to remember.

In short, you were someone I liked but never really became friends with. Weird, huh? Your story with meㅡor better yet, my story with youㅡwas never something special. It was just one of those stories where you like someone and end up giving up on them. What a surprise I actually liked you for two years. Or three. I wasn't sure about that third year, though, in Grade 6. My mind mostly switched back to Minseok.

Though we're not friends, I'd also like to say thanks for making my life in Grade 4 and 5 interesting. You made me feel prettier about myself, you made me happier and made me feel excited to arrive to school. Thanks for that.

Yours truly,
Jung Jaemi

~Authors Notes~

Other letters might be shorter, just saying in advance. :) 

xoxo

Byun Sang Kyung