The Aftermath// a HoltzBert fanfic

Chapter 25

Holtzmann's POV

So I'm pretty sure what e're doing right now is what normal couples do a lot.

Right?

I mean it was kinda weird but after we got through the first ten minutes it was a blast. She taught me the ropes of it and then I got the hang of it as we went along. We both got pleasure out of it so that's a good sign.

We talked. That's all we did. What else would you think we were doing?

Okay, sure. Maybe there was some making out while we were talking. But it wasn't like a sex type of make out.

We both started and ended our talks/make outs with the same amount of clothes on when we started. So nothing happened.

We started making out again when she pulled away.

"Jillian?" She asks me in a concerned little voice.

"Hm?" I say as I try to keep my face as close to hers. I miss being as close as I can to her, I miss being able to wake up with her by my side, I miss seeing her smiling face wherever I go, I miss her.

"You have to come back to work." She says very seriously. I can see the expression in her eyes change from relaxed to tense in .5 seconds.

"Yeah, tomorrow." I say as I lean in to kiss her once again.

But she puts her hand in my face, blocking my lips from reaching their destination at Gilbert station.

"You have to promise." She says sternly. I can't see much of her face, seeing as though her hand is blocking my view, but I can see the outside corner of her right eye through a tiny little gap between her middle finger and ring finger. I can see a single tear start to fall down her cheek.

"I promise you, the Dr. Erin Gilbert, that I will show up to work tomorrow." I say as I back away from her, hold my head up high, puff my chest out, and raise my right hand as if I'm taking an oath.

"You're weird as fuck." She says as she places her hands on my cheeks and smiles at me. Our lips meet once again, but much differently than the previous time.

The spark's back.

The exact same spark I felt when we first kissed on the couch that night. The night when everything was set into motion. But I pull away.

I turn away from Erin and face straight ahead. I put my face into my hands and start to cry.

"Holtzmann?" Erin says as she places her hand on my back. I can hear how concerned she is through the tone of her voice.

I take inventory and actually sort through all of the things that've happened in the last couple of months.

To start, I guess Erin and I have been together for about 7, maybe 8 months now. They've honestly been the best months of my life, even with all the bumps in the road. But there's been some bad things, personally for me as well. Like the whole 'oh, you're fucking insane so every time you have a break down you're a threat to the people you love.' thing really does a number on your brain and self confidence.

"I'm gonna go get some water." I say as I wipe the tears from underneath my eyes and get up from the couch.

She leaves her hand on my back until it falls off as I take a step away from the couch and towards the kitchen.

Probably a million thoughts go through my mind with every step I take away from Erin.

"She's gonna leave again."

"She's here by mistake."

"She never really loved you and she never will."

"You don't deserve a single bit of what she's ever given you."

"You'll never deserve someone like her you mentally, incapacitated freak."

"Why don't you drink your fucking problems away? Oh wait, you are."

Everything's silent as I pour myself a glass of water and take my time to collect my thoughts. It probably takes me about five minutes to feel stable enough to go see Erin again.

When I walk into the living room, once again, I see Erin sitting in a really weird positions with her legs spread very, very far apart. I notice a stain on the couch about three inches away from her position now. Then I realize it's exactly where she was sitting before I left to get my water.

"Erin? Did I spill wine all over the couch?" I ask pointing at the massive stain next to her. She shoots me a look of pure and utter confusion as I ask this question.

"Holtzmann, wine's purple, and your couch is white. The stain doesn't really have a color to it dumbass." She says as she bites her lip and starts to smile a little bit. But I'm still not catching onto a single thing that's happening. I'm not sure if it's the wine or everything going around in my brain, I'm just not getting it.

"Did you like bring a water bottle and accidentally spill it all over your crotch and the couch, or something like that?" I ask looking even more confused. But once again, she shoots me a look of confusion and a little bit of disgust.

"Ohh, Erin. Did you pee your pants?" I ask in a whispered tone. I know that pregnant people need to pee a lot so it's not like I'm going to judge her or anything. I would never judge her on anything.

"Oh my fucking god Holtzmann." She says with a laugh and a roll of her eyes.

"What?" I say back with a nervous laugh, trying to hide how afraid I am because of what I said.

"MY WATER BROKE!" She says with a holler and a smile.

I drop the water I had gotten from the kitchen and my mouth drops open. My eyes are locked on hers and I can see them getting bigger and bigger with ever passing second.

"I love you." I say as I run over to her and embrace her in my arms. She's still sitting down on the couch and I'm bending down in order to hug her.

I can feel the tears that are falling from her cheeks touch my skin as we continue to hug.

When we let go she holds onto the side of my face and keeps it about an inch away from hers.

"We're going to be moms." She says with a cry and a huge smile. I can see how genuinely happy she is about this. I've honestly never seen her smile like this before.

That phrase rings in my ear as she calls Abby and Patty to tell them to come pick us up.

We're going to be mothers.

We're going to be a family.