The Aftermath// a HoltzBert fanfic

Chapter 19

Holtzmann's POV

The next morning I wake up, in my bed, with Erin holding onto me tight. I can feel her belly sticking out so that it's touching the side of me.

"Maybe it was all just a dream." I say to myself as I run my hands through my hair, trying to make myself calm.

I take my hands out of my hair and look down at them.

There's the ring.

"Fuck." I say to myself as I put my head in my hands.

I know that as we get closer and closer to becoming a family, the voices will come more often and I'll probably end up having more breakdowns like I did last night. I look over at Erin once again and decide that it's time to wake her up.

"Hey," I say as I start to gently shake her arm. She let's out a little frustrated grunt and starts to turn over onto her right side. "Erin, wake up." I say as I start to shake her a little more violently.

"W-what?" Erin says all groggy. I have a million things rushing through my head. To start, I don't know what to say now that she's awake. Do I say sorry, or just leave it alone? Next, do I ask about the wedding at all? Finally, am I stable enough to be around Erin at the moment? I don't want to hurt her or the little human in any way shape or form. I don't want to lash out at Erin because I hear her voice in my head constantly saying negative things about me.

Then it finally pops into my head. An Excuse.

"Get dressed, we're going to see your parents to try and explain things to them. Remember?" I say as I throw the covers off of me and stand up. I put my arms above my head and stretch.

"Jillian, you can't take back what happened last night." Erin says. I turn around and see her standing directly across from me. Her hands are placed on her bare hips. She's only wearing a bra and sweatpants, leaving her stomach exposed for the world to see.

I can feel the tears start to form in my eyes once again.

To prevent Erin from seeing me cry once again, I turn around and make my way over to my closet without saying a single word.

"Holtzmann, you can't just let something like that go. You need help." Erin says in reaction to my turning away.

I continue to ignore her as I dig out a very old T-Shirt of mine for Erin to wear due to the fact that none of her clothes fit, still.

"Hey!" I hear her say. She honestly sounds offended. I will admit that this is kind of a bitch move on my part, but in my defense, she has no fucking right to say that I need help. No right at all.

I continue to ignore her questions and look for some clean clothes for me to wear. I'm still wearing the clothes that I was last night from my breakdown. The collar of my shirt is still a little moist from all of the tears that were falling down my face and collecting in a puddle on the floor where my face was laying.

"Jillian Holtzmann." Erin says firmly.

"Ah!" I say as I reach deeper into my closet and pull out the only nice shirt I own. Once I have it in my hands I take some jeans down and immediately slip them on.

"Fine." I hear Erin's voice say. I can hear her voice start to shift from one area to the next. I turn around and see her with my shirt on and making her way towards doorway.

"Erin?" I ask as I take off my dirty shirt that I wore yesterday and last night.

She turns around and stares at me from her place in the doorway.

"What-Whah." She says with a major change in tone between the two words, or sounds I guess.

I take my time and stare at her with my eyes bare eyes, my hair that's now fallen down to my shoulders, and a bra.

"What?" I say to her as I look down and try to act like everything I'm doing is normal. But she knows me. I hate being exposed in any way what so ever unless I'm being goofy or I'm trying to get someone's mind off of something.

I look back up at Erin and see her still standing in the doorway with her mouth wide open and her brown eyes are fixed on me.

"Wow." She says as she takes a step back into the room.

I look down once again and quickly look back at Erin with a smug look.

"Oh, you mean this," I say as I turn to my side and start to act like I'm in a fitting room. "Yeah, I got this on January 6th of 1984, it may be a 32 year-old skin but I think I look alright in it." I finish off. When I look up for the last time I see that Erin's basically standing on top of me at this point. Her little bump just stopping right before it hits my stomach.

"I think you look fucking hot." She says as she smiles down at me. I look into her brown eyes and I can immediately feel a relief. I know that I have nothing to worry about anymore. But the hard part is going to be remembering that when everything starts to crumble in my head.

"Oh, why thank you Mrs.... Mrs.." I start to say. But I realize that we don't know which last name we're going to be taking yet. She stares at me with her brown eyes once again and just makes everything feel so warm and kind. Everything Erin has ever done (minus the whole Kevin thing) has always been so sweet and with the best intention.

"Let's call it, at least for now, Holtzbert." She say as she wraps her arms around my bare waist.

I let out a giggle at how ridiculous the name sounds. But it is extremely cute and defiantly will fit our awkwardness for now.

"Jillian and Erin Holtzbert," I say with a smile as I start to edge my face closer to hers. "I like that." As I just finish speaking Erin's lips collide with mine.

Sparks fly.

It feels like the first kiss we ever shared. All of the passion, love, and mostly, all of the nerves.

I could tell that she was nervous about the way that she went in to kiss me.

She was more gentle when she came in with the kiss compared to previous times. It was almost like she was holding back until the very moment our lips made connection.

We kiss for a couple more minutes until I pull away.

"I love you Erin Holtzbert." I say with a laugh and a big smile.

Erin looks at me with a huge smile. She jumps into my arms and hugs me.

"I love you too Jillian." She whispers in my ear.

We hug for a couple of more minutes and when we finally let go I finish getting dressed and put my shoes on.

"We'll meet you guys down at target around," I start to say as I pause and look at my watch. 2:45. "Around 7:30." I finish saying as I look back up at the both of them. Patty and Abby both nod their heads in agreement.

I take the car keys and Erin's hand and make my way to the Ecto-1.

I walk her over to the passenger side of the car and buckle her into the car like a mother.

"Wow Holtz." She says with a giggle and a smile as she looks up at me. Her little nose wrinkles and everything just falls perfectly into place.

After I buckle her up I shut her door and then I do a little run over to the driver's side.

I put the key into the ignition and step on the gas, starting the car's engine but still staying in the garage.

"Time to meet my parents." Erin says with a nervous sigh.

I look over and see her with one hand over her belly and the other one clutching onto my hand. I squeeze her hand back trying to comfort her but I can't help to be nervous myself. I'm probably more nervous than she is to be honest.

"The parents." I repeat under my breath. I step on the gas and and pull out of garage.

With every passing minute I can feel the anxiety starting to build up more and more.

"It's game time Holtzmann." I say to under my breath.

"WOOOOO!" I scream as I pull away from a red light.