little things :: zeroyalchaos au

Turtle sex noises: the (not) musical

"What kind of sounds would a turtle make when having sex?"

"W-what? What the fuck kinda question is that?" Anthony had to hold back a laugh when he heard Steven's question. "Why do you need to know this??"

Steven giggles from his spot, bundled up in blankets on Anthony's couch. "Adam and Brian and I were talking about it earlier. We were playing prop hunt and we kept making the turtles have sex. Then we got into a discussion of what the turtle sex would sound like."

Anthony rolled his eyes, sitting next to Steven with a bowl of popcorn in his hands. "Can't you just google it?"

"Well yeah," Steven mumbled," but imagine if my mom found my search history?"

"What about your search history, Ze?" Aphex came into the room, flopping onto the big leather chair off to the side. Galm wasn't too far off, coming to a stop near his boyfriend.

"Aphex, Glammy's gonna crush your tiny ass if you don't move." Anthony snickered quietly, beginning to dig into the popcorn.

Seeing this, Steven whined and nudged his friend. "Chilly? I want popcorn, too!"

Anthony scoffed, moving the bowl out of Steven's reach. "Yeah right, buddy. Like I'd share my popcorn with you."

"What do you mean you're not sharing it?! That's more than enough for all of us!" Steven pouted, taking the opportunity to fall over and lay across the couch with his head on Chilled's lap. "Sharing is caring, Chilly."

Anthony looked down at him, before chuckling quietly. "Well, then I guess you have a point. I care about you, Ze, therefore I will share with you." He moved the bowl of popcorn closer, then gestured towards it. "Take some, Zeeby!"

Steven pouted again, whining loudly as he wiggled his body around like a little worm. "I can't. I don't have hands." He emphasized this by wiggling his hands the best he could, still restrained by the blankets he had bundled himself in.

"What... Ze, just unwrap yourself! Pull your arms out and eat the popcorn!" Anthony laughed, his hand going down to ruffle Steven's hair.

Steven puffed his cheeks, shaking his head. "If I do that, I'll be cold! I don't wanna be cold, Chilled! Just feed me! Your hands are fine, use them to feed me popcorn."

Anthony rolled his eyes. "I'm not-"

"Feed me."
"But Ze-"
"Feed me."
"Steven R-"
"FEED ME CHILLY WILLY! I MUST CONSUME!"

"ANTHONY JUST FEED YOUR FUCKING BOYFRIEND! YOU FUCKS SHOULDN'T EVEN BE EATING THE POPCORN BEFORE THE MOVIE STARTS ANYWAYS!" Galm's yelling cuts them off, Aphex laughing hysterically to himself.

Anthony simply shrugs, taking a few pieces of popcorn and feeding them to Steven.

"Jesus Christ. You guys are so gay." Galm shakes his head, pulling Aphex closer to him and looking at his phone.

"Oh, and you guys aren't? You can't call us gay if you're named Glammy while kissing your boyfriend." Steven stuck his tongue out at them, Anthony quick to do the same.

"Well of course I can't! How am I supposed to talk if I'm kissing Aphex?" Galm rolled his eyes, grabbing the remote off of the coffee table in the center of the room. "Give me this, I'm picking the movie today."

"What? What do you mean you're picking the movie? I thought we all agreed on watching Fight Club?" Aphex looked upset as he watched Galm begin to go through Netflix, scrolling through movies.

"I could've sworn we were watching the Lego Movie today," Anthony mumbles to himself, shoving a handful of popcorn into his mouth.

.

"If turtles were to have sex, do you think they would croak really loudly when they came, or....?" Steven's voice trailed off, breaking the silence in the living room. The movie had finished long ago, the four friends slowly drifting off to sleep.

"What the fuck, Steven." Aphex gave a tired laugh, and must've moved around from his spot on top of Galm from the faint rustling noises Steven heard.

"I'm just curious. It's not going to leave my mind until I get an answer. I need closure."

There was a few moments of silence, before Anthony spoke up. "You're such a cute little derp, Ze."

"We're all a bunch of derps, though. What makes him the cutest?" Galm sounded like he was about to pass out.

"He's the cutest of our little derp crew." Aphex gave a small giggle, then sighed tiredly. "I think Smarty came up with that name once or twice."

Anthony laughed. "I like that name. The Derp Crew. It suits us."

"You, me, Smarty and Tom and Aphex and Ze... Yeah. We're all a bunch of derpy fucks. I'm okay with this title." Galm gave a content sigh, then spoke. "It's official, then. We're the Derp Crew. Just us, the six of us."

"Even if two of us aren't here to discuss this?"

"Even if two of us aren't here. They're officially a part of the derp crew whether they know it or not."

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this is a bit of a filler lmao