little things :: zeroyalchaos au

Smarty's Side of Things

Smarty was never good at reasoning with himself. No matter how hard he tried, there would always be a part of him screaming and worrying, about this, and that, whispering things like "what if you fuck up again," and "what if they grow tired of you one day?"

All Smarty did was worry, it seemed. "It's just anxiety, sweetie. It'll pass, one way or another," his mother would say.

When Tom and Galm blew up his phone, questioning over and over Smarty's whereabouts, Smarty felt as if it would never pass.

Tom: Smarty? Class starts soon... Aren't you coming?

Tom: John. Come to class plz

Tom: Smarty, you need education in order to live up to your name.

Tom: are you at least with chilled?

Tom: I hope you realize the lack of replies really isn't helping me out here

Tom: at least tell me if something's wrong?

Glam: smarty where the fuck are you? its twenty mins into history & your not here!!!

Glam: chilled isnt answering his phone either?? where the actual fuck did yall go?

Glam: smarty you shit

Glam: cant you maybe... y'know... tELL ME YOUR OKAY AT LEAST

Glam: i swear smarty, if you fucking died off somewhere im gonna find you and smack you so hard you come back to life

Glam: no but seriously, i miss you plz answer i worried

The last text makes him smile a bit. Chilled laughs from behind, patting Smarty's back. "Galm has weird ways of showing affection."

"What do I even tell him? Or Tom? They're never going to leave me alone if I don't answer them, but if I do, they're just gonna worry more, and I don't want them to-"

"I'll talk to them. Don't worry, okay? I got you."

Smarty relaxes a little, allowing himself to sink into Chilled's couch. There's a few moments of silence as John watches Anthony tap away on his phone, before turning to John with a curious look on his face.

"Hey, Smarty? Is it okay if I invite Steven over? I kinda feel bad for ditching him earlier today. I was thinking we could all stay here and play some games?"

Smarty smiles and nods, doing his best to repress the sudden rush of... something that washes over him. Anger? Hate? No...

Envy, if anything. It wasn't that he didn't like Steven, it was just...

Why can't I have a relationship like that? Some cheesy love at first sight crap, none of this love triangle bull.

._.

Steven is currently sprawled out across Anthony's couch, his legs over Chilled and his head in Smarty's lap.

Despite them hardly knowing each other, Smarty had insisted on Steven using the nickname. It just felt so weird to have people call him John. Yes, the name was completely ironic- Smarty was anything but smart, in his opinion.

But John didn't feel right either, so what was he to do?

It was easy to see why Chilled was so infatuated with Steven, once you spent a bit of time around him. Ze was just really easy to get along with, awkwardness aside.