This is going to be poetry Josh has written about Tyler in his notebook. It's also by Josh's point of view TRIGGER WARNING! Enjoy.
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Sad Blue Boy
I see you standing across the room
Your eyes filled with doom
It's hard for me not to stare
When you look as if you are in despair
Sad, sad blue boy filled with doubt
I wish I could spread my love for you about
But the mask covering my face won't shout
You, me are alike
Although it may not spike
You, me are deceased
Simply not achieved
You, me are depressed
The evidence in my chest
You, me are sick
The slits prove it thick
I see you standing across the room
The sad blue boy is doomed.
If Only
Why are you crying as you walk in
Your eyes look shot thin
Hair is a mess
Body is distressed
Voice is raspy
Like the rapper around candy
I could make you feel better
If only you could take the letter
Please
Black rings around your eyes
Make me cry
Even though I don't know your middle name
It seems like your life is in vane
Your heart oh so broke
Can only be filled with hope
So please don't take that rope
Or else I wouldn't be able to cope
Only Wonder
You seem brighter today
As light as the sky
Your hair is nice
Eyes opened wide
Plenty of sleep
And something to eat
If I could only wonder why
The One
I've heard you've found the one
Your bright and only sun
A man so sweet, I could never compete
Me
Before I die I would wish to see your eyes
Filled with delight
And not the darkest night
The man you've found
Turned that frown upside down
If only that man could be
The one and only me
Square One
I've lost all hope
Simply drained from the clock
I've lost my time
Of lying that I'm fine
I lied because of you
To prove that your life will be better
Then you just crying in your sweater
Saying that all will work out
And there's no such thing as doubt
My advice seemed to work
As I watch you come out
Of your flower of doubt
You found a partner
Although it may not be me
Not everyone's life will go as to plan
As I lie here in the sand
No hand to hold
In the nights breeze
I begin to ease
Back to square one
Where my hands are guns
~•~
I've been looking through random garbage before I was going to do it. I was going to kill myself, a death I would never wish upon anyone else. I found my notebook from senior year. Tyler. The one who caused this dark whole in my heart. As much as I would like to blame him, it is not his fault. It is mine. I fell in deep, deep love with Tyler. I would write poems expressing my feelings instead of grabbing a blade. I began reading. I could feel the pain that still lurks in my body through the pages of ink. Tyler is happy now I try to tell myself. He has a boyfriend. A loving and caring boyfriend. That's all I wished for Tyler right? A happy life, free from depression? Of course. That's all I hoped for for Tyler. But deep down I know I wanted more. I wanted him to be mine. To call him my boyfriend. I don't even care how selfish it sounds anymore. I was the one who helped him through all of this. I deserve something. But no. I deserve five years of pain. Five years worth of scars. Five years worth of trying to stay alive. Not for myself. For Tyler. Not anymore.
I took my rope. It's funny how I told Tyler not to hurt himself or not to commit. Ha. Funny. It's funny how I'm tying a knot on a railing in my closet. Sturdy enough to hold my limp cold body. I wonder how long it would take for anyone to notice or find me. Who am I kidding? No one would care.
I tightened the knot around the railing, making sure it wouldn't come off during the- um- process. I have my chair ready. My note taped to the wall where I would be hanging. It read: Hello to the person that has found this. Don't freak out. It's not like anyone would care about me dying anyway. I've been through backflips of pain that has been inflicted on me the past five years, physically, emotionally, and mentally. I couldn't take it anymore. Tell Tyler Robert Joseph that he is the only man I could've ever loved, and I hope his relationship is going well. Anyways, burry me in all my favorite colors. My sisters and my brothers still.
- Joshua William Dun
I'm ready. I have my chair placed under me as I climb on top of it. I slip the noose around my neck. No more fear. No more pain. No more agony. No more fear. No...more...Tyler. I kick the chair.
Goodbye my true love.
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HOLY SHIT THAT WAS SAD. I'm sorry, this originally was going to be poems Josh wrote for Tyler but that was boooooring, SO I decided to take a precious smol bean and you know. IM SORRY PLS FORGIVE ME WITH FLUFF. Lmao anyways don't hesitate to comment and stay alive guys, I need you|-/
