Fangirl - A Dan Howell x Reader Fanfiction | danisnotonfire

Atonement

You walk out of the store fifteen minutes later with a sparkling new rose gold iPhone and your favorite YouTuber by your side "Thank you again, you really didn't have to do this, I can pay you ba-"

"No! Please, it was my fault you lost your old one, please, don't worry about it!" He smiles gently and puts his hand on your shoulder gently. 

You sorta stare at his hand for a moment, and nearly shake at the idea of who is touching you. 

"Uh... You okay? Oh, sorry." He took his hand down awkwardly and bit his lip.

Idiot! You scream internally at yourself.

"So." He awkwardly kept walking "Do you need a ride, or?" 

"Oh." You try not to act disappointed that your day with Dan is coming to an end "Sure."

Go on, ask him. 

"Could I have your phone number?" You blurt out, and then hurry to cover it up "You know, so I can return your clothes?" 

"Oh, don't worry about it! I have quite a few pairs of all of those. Got some extra when I was on to-" He pauses and looks away.

"On what?"

"Um, on tour."

Okay, this was it. You had to act surprised, or it would all be over. "You went on tour?! Where?!"

He looks at the ground "Everywhere, really. It was a lot of fun." He smiles and you blush. 

"That sounds amazing! I'll have to watch a tape of that, do you happen to have one?" Of course, you've already watched it at least twenty times. You suddenly realize how creepy it sounds to ask that to someone you've just met and cringe internally.

"It's up on YouTube actually. It's called The Amazing Tour is Not on Fire." 

"That's amazing." You speak truthfully "I'd love to go on tour." You look at the ground. You had wanted to watch the tour live ever since you had heard about it. You had gotten tickets and everything, but then- Not now!  You decide not to think about that.

"Big on performing?"

You nod "I used to act all the time when I was younger."

"I did too." he sighs "I gave it up around high school. Worst decision of my life. I got in with some bad people, did some things I regret." He couldn't look you in the eyes.

You want to cry. You want to hug him. You want to do both. But instead you put your hand on his arm until he looks up at you "It's okay. We all have things we're ashamed of... But you can't shame yourself because of that. It's a part of your history. You've gone on tour, you have six million loyal followers who would do anything for you, you've written a book! You've done things some other people couldn't dream of doing! Everything you've done, all your mistakes, it's lead up to where you are now!" You're crying now. Dan looks as if he might too.

"I'm sorry." He covered his face with his hands "Jesus Christ, I just met you less than two hours ago and we're already crying! I'm sorry y/n, I didn't mean to get you worked up. I'm not the one with problems here, I'm sure."

You reach out and hug him. His hands close gently around your back and you let tears fall into his soft, dark shirt. You shut your eyes. You'd never imagined you'd be the one giving  him advice, helping him when he needs someone. You can imagine he couldn't exactly vent to YouTube. But you're more than happy to be here 

"Everyone has problems, Dan. I went through something similar. I'm sorry, no one should go through it. But something you have to understand is that humans make mistakes. We just have to move on. And someday we'll get to a time and place, and we'll realize that we're happy. That the mistakes have all been worth it."

He seems as if he's definitely crying now. Some strangers are giving us odd looks, but I don't care.

It seems that he doesn't either.