Monstrous Love

Chapter One

Chapter One

"I have something to tell you." I confess, switching my bedroom lamp on.
We've only just climbed into bed but I can't keep it to myself anymore. It's been bugging me all day and I just know I'm going to burst if I don't say something soon.
"What is it?" Niall asks, turning around so he can face me.
"I think Victoria likes you."
"Victoria?"
"She's the blonde haired girl in my class." I inform him. "She's really pretty."
"I don't think I know her." Niall shrugs, acting like it's no big deal.
"She... she wanted me to ask you out for her."
"Why didn't she ask me herself?"
"I guess she was too nervous."
"Ok well tell her that my answer is no." He says, offering me a weak smile.
"What do you mean?" I blurt out. "How can you possibly say no?"
"I'm just not interested." He replies simply, amused by my response.
"But why?" I probe, finding it difficult to believe in Niall's refusal.
"Because I don't like her."
"You just said you don't even know who she is."
"Ok, well maybe I do know her." He reveals. "My answer is still no."
"I just don't understand why. She's the prettiest girl in school."
"Evie, you're the prettiest girl in school." He claims boldly.
"We both know that's not true." I argue, feeling my face turning red.
"Of course it's not. Have you not looked in the mirror lately?"
"Let's change the subject." I add hastily.
"Ok what to? Anything else you want to talk about?"
"I want to talk about when we're going to run away?"
It's a subject that rarely leaves my mind. It's all I can think about on winter nights like this when it's cold and blustery outside. I long for a cosy house and good food, hot water and warm blankets. It's all I've ever wanted and the thought of obtaining that one day provides me with a great deal of hope.
"Soon." Niall assures me. "Real soon."
"You always say that." I complain, frustrated with him for giving me the same response.
"Evie, I have to come up with some sort of plan before we leave here. We need money and if we can't get that then I need to be able to get a job. It's not like I can do that at ten years old."
It's true. Niall is only ten and I'm nine, it's not like we could survive if we ran away. Adulthood seems so far away. It only exists inside my imagination and I can't help but count the days until Niall turns eighteen. Most children don't want to grow up, captivated by the thought of Peter Pan who never has to.
It's different for us.
"I can't bear him hurting you." I murmur, remembering the attack Jeremy inflicted upon him last night. "I wish you would let me protect you sometimes."
"I don't need you to protect me, Evie. It's my job to protect you."
He says the same thing each time, refusing to let me step in and take some of Jeremy's lashings. Niall always puts me first and has sacrificed himself several times to protect me.
"You really think we can get out of here some day?"
"I know we can." He responds quietly, placing a kiss on my forehead.
I first came to the children's home when I was six. Niall was seven and had been there a year before I arrived. I was a terrified little girl who hardly spoke, traumatised by the loss of my aunt who passed away three months before. She had looked after me since I was a baby so the loss was incredibly painful.
I'd been staying in a temporary foster home for the first three months after my aunt died and hated the fact that I was being passed around like a second hand parcel. I just wanted a home again. Somewhere I belonged and could feel safe.
My first foster home wasn't as bad as some of the ones Niall had experienced but it wasn't a happy place either.
I didn't know what to expect when I first arrived, surrounded by different people and nosy children firing questions at me. I didn't meet Niall until later, several hours after I'd been shown to my room and told to unpack my things.
I still remember his dark brown eyes and his ruffled hair, introducing himself to me with such ease and confidence. He was so young but had this charismatic magnetism about him even then.
I was hooked.
We were pretty much inseparable from that moment on. I followed him around like a lost puppy because he made me feel safe after feeling so lost and confused. He was exactly what I needed.
I soon learnt that this foster home would have been a lot worse than the first one I was placed in. The only thing that made it better was Niall.
The rules were that we each had our own room and this was what I dreaded the most. I hated being apart from him and would lie awake most nights, counting down the minutes until breakfast time.
I was finally introduced to Jeremy in my fourth month of being there. He was the husband of Patricia, the lady who ran the children's home and he had been working away for several months.
I took an instant dislike to him but he didn't seem to notice. The only one he had it in for was Niall. He truly hated him and I could see it in his eyes each time my friend entered the room. I was worried for his safety and told Niall that I wanted him to sleep in my bedroom.
So I could keep him safe.
It turned out that Niall was more than capable of looking after himself. He met each and every challenge with Jeremy head on, amazing us all by the strength of his convictions and courage.
Jeremy soon started drinking, struggling with the hardships and disappointments which go with being out of work. Patricia started drinking too, leaving the rest of us to fend for ourselves.
It was during these drunken nights that Jeremy would turn particularly violent, frequently smashing up one of our bedrooms or hurling things at us in a rage.
Niall was always on the receiving end of Jeremy's fury but I also encountered my fair share of his wrath. It was mainly when Niall wasn't around, if he was late home from school or had football practise.
Jeremy would start on me as soon as I was alone, taunting me and picking on my appearance for being so small. He pulled my hair once and made my scalp sore, bullying me as often as he could.
Choosing to keep quiet about it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I hated keeping secrets from Niall but knew it might get him into trouble if I told him what had been happening. He only found out about it when he saw bruising on my arms and flew into a rage. He took on a middle aged man when he was seven years old, astonishing me forever.
After the truth came out about Jeremy's abuse, Niall refused to leave me alone and made sure he slept in my room each night. He always kept me safe and put me first, making sure I could count on him for the rest of the life.

It was Niall's ability to show human kindness which made his actions so deplorable. He made a choice and he chose the monster inside of him.

How do you forgive someone who chooses darkness?

Especially when that darkness was him...