Once upon a time in sunny San Francisco, GJ 13, Ryan 12, and Ivory 11 were watching Teen Titans Go on TV when nine other cubs came into the living room with panicked looks on their faces. "What's with you, guys?" asked GJ. "Daddy's going to tell us stories," said Bradley. "Daddy always tells stories," said GJ. "But he's wearing weird clothes," said April. "Daddy always wears weird clothes," said Ivory. "He's playing the lute and singing off-key!" said Liam. "Oh, no, Ryan text mom!" cried GJ. "We've got to get out of here!" Ryan text-messaged his mom. Twenty minutes later, Shelley responded to Ryan. "Ryan, please be nice to daddy I'll be home at 5." "Mom not coming back until 5?!" cried Yasmin. "What are we going to do, GJ?" asked Zac. Just when GJ was about to answer the question, Grizz came into the living room dressed as a bard. "Hark, my lords, and ladies listen well, for I have three stories to tell," said Grizz. "Dad, why are you dressed like that?" asked April. "I'm not Dad, my lady," said Grizz. "I am William Shakes-bear! "Nice tights," said Bradley. "Oh, I thought Daddy was wearing Mommy's pantyhose," said Crystal. "These are not Mommy's pantyhose!" said Grizz. "I, William Shakes-bear here to excite thee with tales of adventure and morality." "Hey, Shakes-bear," said Zoe. "Do you dance around in Mommy's pantyhose?" The cubs burst out laughing causing Grizz to scream and rant. "These are tights, not pantyhose!" yelled Grizz. "I tell stories that have morals and character." "Isn't that what you always do anyway, Dad?" asked Dipper. "And you never listen," said Grizz. "So, I'm engaging in this theatrics to trick you cubs into learning." The cubs started to groan. "What's wrong with our character and morals now, Daddy?" asked Eliza. "Everything, sweetheart!" cried Grizz. "Can we at least get some snacks to please, Daddy?" asked Ivory. "Yeah, Daddy," said Ryan. "We need nourishment if we're gonna sit here and listen to you tell three stories." "You may get your snacks, kids," said Grizz. "BUT HURRY UP!" Twenty minutes later, the twelve cubs came back from the kitchen with popcorn, pretzels, chips, mozzarella sticks, dipping sauce, cups, sodas, cookies, and Twinkies. "Are those my Twinkies, Dipper?" asked Grizz. "Put it back!" "Aw, come on, Dad!" said Dipper. "You can't tell stories with your mouth full of Twinkies!" "Wow, seeing how much you cubs like to eat junk food reminded me of a story about two kids who loved to eat junk food so much, they almost died," said Grizz. "My little cubbies listen well to the story I shall now tell about two kids with large appetites cast out in the forest on the coldest of nights!" "Oh, you're talking about Hansel and Gretel," said April. "I know that one, Daddy." "Yeah, Let April tell the story, Daddy!" said Crystal. "Listen here, pipsqueaks!" said Grizz. "Only the storyteller which is me can tell the story!" Grabbing a Twinkie from the box April walked up to her dad and said, "Daddy, if you let me tell the story, I'll give you this scrumptious and delicious Twinkie." "April, if you think that you can bribe me with a Twinkie," said Grizz. "You're sadly mistaken." "You're right, Daddy," said April. "I'm sorry." "Give me two Twinkies and the floor is yours," said Grizz. "Thanks, Dad!" said April giving Grizz a hug and the Twinkies. As Grizz sat down eating his Twinkie, April was telling this story of Hansel and Gretel in her version of course.
"Once upon a time, there were six German kids named Hansel, Gretel, Fritz, Frieda, Gustav, and Heidi.
One day the kids ate all the food and got kicked out of the house by their parents. "We told you girls not to eat all the schnitzels!" said Hansel. "Maybe you boys should have shared the strudels!" said Gretel. The children's stomachs began to growl. "Well, great," said Gustav. "Now we're starving and lost in the forest!" "That's not even the worst of it, Gustav," said Heidi. "I hear there are witches out here!" "Witches?!" cried Fritz and Frieda. And all of the sudden a bear witch named Hazel who lived in a house made out of sticky buns appeared right before them and said, "Dear little children, you must be starving, why not have a nibble of my scrumptious sticky bun house to fill those tummies?" "Don't you live in there?" asked Gretel. "Well, yeah." said witch Hazel. "This is my house." "So, you walk around in there and get your fur stuck in everything?" asked Hansel noticing a lot of hair on the wall. "Perhaps, there are a few hairs here and there, yeah." said witch Hazel. "Who cares if there's hair everywhere?" asked Fritz. "Let's get some sweet buns!" "Okay, lady," said Frieda. "We'll eat your house," said Heidi. So, the kids began picking the sticky buns off of the witch's house. "These foolish little children have no idea I lured them here to be eaten." said witch Hazel cackling. "I am so hungry, but they will make quite a meal." As the children were about to eat the sticky buns, a bear witch named Helga who lived in a house made out of carrot and celery sticks appeared right before them and said, "Dear little children, you cannot start a meal with dessert." "We cannot?" asked the kids. "Why not try a crunchy appetizer instead?" suggested witch Helga. "We could crunch those celery and carrot sticks!" said Hansel. "There is cheese sauce in the fountain." said witch Helga. The children were so entranced by the house that they jumped into the fountain laughing and splashing. "Hey!" cried witch Hazel. "They were going to eat my house, you old hag!" "I think they should decide." said witch Helga. The children were about to eat the carrot and celery sticks when all of a sudden a bear witch named Hilda who lived in a house made out of turkey and trimmings appeared right before them and said, "Do not fill up on appetizers or sticky buns, my Liebchen." "Why not?" asked the children. "The main course is ready." said witch Hilda. "Try my delicious turkey dinner house." "I love turkey!" cried Hansel. "I love mashed potatoes!" cried Gretel. "I love stuffing!" cried Fritz. "I love cranberry sauce!" cried Heidi. "I love buttermilk biscuits!" cried Frieda. "I love giblet gravy!" cried Gustav. So the children began to eat witch Hilda's house. Witch Hazel was furious with her sisters. "You two old buzzards are eating all of the children I lure here!" cried witch Hazel. "I'm starving!" "Don't blame us if the children refuse to eat your hairy buns!" said witch Helga. "How dare you speak of my buns in such way!" cried witch Hazel slapping Helga's face. As the three bear witches begin to argue, they all failed to notice the children were eating their houses. "Ah, delicious!" cried Hansel patting his tummy. "Mmm Mmm, good!" cried Gretel smacking her lips. "That was so yummy!" cried Gustav licking his fingers. "Ah, tasty!" cried Heidi. "Thanks for the meal, ladies!" said Fritz. "Catch you later!" said Frieda. As the six children left, the three bear witches saw that their houses have been eaten. "Our delicious houses are gone!" cried witch Hazel. "Where will we live now?" asked witch Helga. "I cannot afford another carrot and celery stick house!" "No, we are on the fixed incomes!" cried Hilda. The three bear witches began to cry. "And the children went back home promising their parents that they will be good boys and girls. And the three bear witches moved in with their parents promising them that they will eat healthy food from now on The End!" When the story was over April said, "So, what did you guys think of the story?" "I think the bear witches shouldn't make their houses out of foods," said Ryan. "That's dumb." "What did you think of the story, Daddy?" asked April. Grizz was silent for a moment. So, what did Grizz thought about April's story? Stay tuned for chapter two of Grizz's Furry Tales to find out.
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Grizz's Furrytales by pandasgirls8
FantasyGrizz tells fairy tales to his kids, but gets interrupted when the cubs tell their own twisted version!