Less feeling, more work!

Chapter one

 I sighed as I drew what I was drawing. People walked by, caught a glance, and walked away. I bit my lip slightly as someone stopped to look at it. I didn't talk much, yeah, I'm not a big talker.

My name is Lilliana T. Kart, I'm 15 years old and my birthday is June 12th, I have black hair that I cut every time it gets past my elbows, I have greenish blue eyes and mostly wear a black and gray stripped shirt with black pants. I'm something you call, emo, at my school. I have a family that does not let me do anything so I often bring the clothes in my white backpack. They always want me to wear bright pink to match my backpack.

I hate that about my family, yes I know, they might be looking out for me and saying I hate them is not true. But no, I do. They want me to be this perfect girl, that smiles all the time and only plays on my phone for an hour and gets lots of friends, well, I'm not that girl, back off.

I'm not too famous at school, my only friend left about 2 weeks ago, now we're just starting this grade so she wouldn't be too far behind, so now, back to what is happening.

As I look up I quickly hid my drawing seeing who it is. I shut my eyes tight. I heard some giggles come from behind me and footsteps came towards me. I got tapped on the back and was forced to look at the person as they grabbed my drawing book. I stood up swearing if they didn't give it bad I'd tell on a teacher, but it didn't happen like that.

The girl, by the name of Gracie, who had long blond hair, and of course, pretty blue eyes wearing a bright pink shirt, and Jean pants. Gracie stood there in front of a group of girls behind her, she held the drawing book up and held her scissors up and cut it out, my eyes filled with tears as she did so, she then tore it up.

"GRACIE!" I screamed grabbing Gracie by the throat. She moved out of the way me smacking face first into the wall, but I didn't feel anything. I looked at her and she kicked at me it hitting my gut, I still didn't feel it. "Give me my book back," I growled standing up. A teacher walked out. She shocks her head. "I SAID GIVE ME MY BOOK BACK YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" I ran into her again but she dodged again.

"Oh, no I think I-" Gracie said being cut off by a teacher.

"That enough give it back to her Gracie." The teacher said. Gracie groaned as she threw my drawing book at me. I looked at the page that had been cut out and ripped to shreds. My eyes filled with tears again and I hugged the book laying there. I stayed there for the rest of the lunch break.

•••

As I walked home, I slipped into an area where no one was. I changed quickly as I walked out, so my parents do not think I don't listen to them. I walked the rest of the way home. I walked into the house.

"Lilly!" I heard my mother call out. I looked down as she ran over. "How was school?" She asked. I didn't answer. "Lilly looks at me, I got a call from your principal, okay? They said you got into a fight. What happened?"

I looked up at her and she gasped. I had a black eye. I said something but she put her head to the side. "I said, I'm not the damn person you want me to be!" I hissed. "I wear clothes that you hate, I have no friends cause Jace left, I'm not popular, I wear black at school, I sneak out at night, and for god's sake, I'm 15, not 2 and you treat me like a fucking 2-year-old!"

"Lilly-" My mom got cut off.

"Do not Lilly me! My name is Lilliana I thought you'd know this! You call me Lilly all the time, and I've told you a million times, to call me my real name, not some fake nickname! And mom, dad won't come home cause you were too lazy to pick up the phone and know he got shot! You thought it was bad cause it was his work, but no, dad doesn't have a cellphone! You idiot, pay attention!"

Her eyes were in tears. This felt great sticking up for myself. I loved it, but she is really damn stupid. "Lilliana...I'm sorry." She said hugging me. I groaned and pushed her away walking upstairs slamming my door shut and tore the fake posters and wallpaper down.

My wall was grey, a poster of Twenty one Pilots was on my wall and I got my phone out turning on their songs, the judge played first and I put it in my speakers it making it loud as I got my blankets out and replacing the white ones he's with black ones and putting a plushie I made of Josh on my bed.

I looked at my bed and then got my drawing book outputting pictures I drew on my wall. I didn't care if my mother hated them. I didn't care at all. I sat and turned my laptop on. I got on it searching up pictures of pastel. After that, I decided to draw my own.

The only light colors I like are pastel colors.

•••

My life was still really hard and it's gotten worse, every day I'd come home, not in pain, but, it looked like I am, or, was. I have gotten bullied, every day I'd go to school and got picked on, kicked, I'd feel like I was, nothing. I didn't care for that, though.

I didn't care for these people they're all stupid, they don't know how to truly be nice. But I was walking homesick and tired of the day, once I reached him I started drawing the pastel thing again getting farther into it each time I drew a line. I watched as it grew bigger and bigger after it was done I got my pastel colors out and started to color it after that was done I shaded it with that color but darker.

I didn't care for the type of music that was on, it was sad and depression. I didn't care I just put my picture on the wall. I smiled brightly at the drawing, my walls were covered in my art.

But I didn't care.