dearest keepers

Dear Society

December 18, 2013

You do a lot to people, teenagers specifically. Of course, everyone knows that. I suppose it isn't society itself, but more the people who make up the world. 

Every single person involved in different cultures, backgrounds, and different pasts all come together in society. So you'd imagine that to be a miraculous thing, right? I thought so at first, to be honest. I was innocent at one point in time. Innocent in the sense that I had no idea how cruel the real world was. How harsh and honest and plain hurtful the people all around you truly are, beneath all of their fake kindness. 

So when I say innocent to society, I mean I had no idea how it really worked. I walked around a couple of years ago thinking everyone was perfect and accepting of each other, and that everyone was able to put aside their problems to keep the people around them happy.

God, I was so naive. Then again, I suppose at ages thirteen and fourteen it's supposed to be that way. Your middle school years always seem stupid once you look back on them. Somehow you always end up thinking, "Oh God... how could I be so wrong?"

And I was completely wrong to go around being that ignorant, because reality hit me fast and hard the summer after eighth grade had finally ended. 

I learned pretty fast from there on in that people's tongues flick off words without their minds actually processing what they've said, without them realizing the consequences of everything that could happen. All because of one comment. I've learned that people will backstab you to no end, and that just because someone acts like your best friend and smiles right in your face, it doesn't mean they actually care about you. I've learned that guys will use you to get closer to your "best friend", and I've learned about trust. 

That is the only good thing society has given me the past two years. A new outlook on trust, and everything connected to it.  Everything else? It's been cold and real and painful. 

Everything you could fall into without even realizing it... it's hard to get out of. It's hard to put the pieces back together, because in a way you'll never be able to.

People... she, took every ounce of trust I gave her and shattered it into a million tiny little pieces that have become so distorted that they can never fit back together the same way. She took everything that you're supposed to give to a best friend and ruined it, like it was nothing to her. Probably because it really was nothing to her. 

Those pieces? They've been so cracked and rigid that they don't fit together anymore. They've been burned and smoldered with the edges creasing and bending in a way that you can't tell which piece is supposed to go where anymore.

And that's where my friends come in. Friends that try their best not to pay attention to society, just like I tried. Still do, I mean. Sometimes. I don't know.

Anyway, they get down, a lot I should say. The people involved in making everyone's lives a living hell get into their heads a lot, and I need to help by keeping them from crash landing into the bottom of a never ending blackness. They've been hurt ten times worse than I have, their fragile yet strong because of you. Because of everything that people have put them through, and for what?

To be that "perfect" size, or to feel good enough to live? It makes me sick that everything they've put themselves through, and still do, all leads up to the idea people have in their minds because of you.

It makes me feel absolutely horrible that when they feel like they need to skip a meal, or purge, or hurt themselves, that it's because of everything certain people have done or said to them their whole lives. It hurts that sometimes I know I won't be able to help them at all during it.

You make me sick. Society? You need to be taken down, brick by brick, until you're the one completely and utterly exposed. Vulnerable.

That would be a change I'd be willing to go through and wait for.