dearest keepers

Dear Susie

February 17, 2014

I don't know where to start with this, because you've literally been there for me since I was born. You're eleven years older than me, which makes you 27, but I swear you have a personality that will never ever grow up. I think that's why I have one, too. 

You sent me a text yesterday with a photo of me from when I was like one or two, and you said even when I was that young I loved being with you and hanging out with it. Which is totally awesome, because you're like my favorite cousin and I think I knew it back then too.

I mean, we've done a lot together. You gladly became my Confirmation sponsor, we volunteered at the food bank together, we've gone to weddings and had sleepovers and fun at holidays. Basically you're such a cool and fun person, I feel really lucky to have you as a family member. 

Actually, I remember the day we volunteered. It was during 8th grade, and you dropped by the school and convinced the attendance lady that you were there to take me to a doctor's appointment at ten in the morning. When we got to your car you cracked up laughing and I asked what was so funny while you said "That was the most rebellious I've been since I was seventeen, Britt."

Gosh I love you, Susie. 

I still have the letter you wrote me, too, and I tear up every time I read it. I shouldn't, because that's childish but I do, because you took a lot of time to write it for me. I really want to write the whole letter in here, but a huge part of me doesn't want to, and I won't. It's like that letter is just between the two of us, and I don't want to give it all away. I do have a few favorite lines though.

"You are such a wonderful girl and have really grown into a mature, young adult and I have witnessed that mostly through your preparation for confirmation."

"Your choices already, your confidence and your schooling have shown your positive choices and your right path in your decisions. Remember, that it has all come from your prayers and beliefs."

I actually really don't want to write anything more out of it, because I appreciate how much effort you put into writing me that. It was so sweet, and I really love you for doing that for me. 

I found photos of us today, from after I was born, and I'm not going to lie we were really precious. Mom told me you never wanted to let me go. Mom also says we're a lot alike, mainly for the reason that we're both extremely sensative. 

Anyway, the point is that I'm so incredibly grateful for everything you've done for me. I'm so proud to call you my big cousin, because you keep me on track when I feel like I can't take it anymore. You're the only person who I can really talk to my beliefs and God about. I can't talk to my friends about that. They don't believe in it, and they never will, and I don't want to argue them on it. When I want to talk about Him, like an actual in depth conversation, you're there. When I need someone to be silly with, you're there. 

It's amazing, and thank you. Again. 

I love you. Again.