Brokenhearted

Chapter 22

Chapter 22

 *Still Caitlyn's POV*

I needed to end my pain. Once and for all. I used to think that people who were suicidal are cowards who end their pain to free themselves from the world, running away from their own problems, which to me, everything could be solved as long as you trust in God.

But guess what? I'm actually the biggest coward of them all. I don't want to face my sorrows and problems. I'm just another depressed teenager who's thinking of committing suicide. Pretty cliché right?

Looking back at my life, I don't see why I should continue living when I'm all alone in this world. My parents are gone, my sister was killed by a vampire, and Nathan was right. I'm just another selfish person. I never once considered his feelings, thinking that I was the most weak and vulnerable fledgling. 

I never once thought of how he must have felt when he was first turned. I didn't think of how he must have felt so helpless when he had no one to turn to and how he had to pick himself up from all that happened. 

I only thought about myself, ME. Nathan offered to help me with this painful process of transformation but instead of being grateful, I decided to shut him out of my life.

I refused to talk to him or even look him in the eye. I was so affected by the fact that I lost my humanity that I neglected him.

Nathan didn't deserve all of this pain but I brought it upon him, making him bear all the hurt when I was avoiding him.

I don't deserve to live. It was all because of me that my whole family died and Nathan left me. It's my fault. I have no one else to blame.

Death is the only option.

Taking slow steps towards the bathroom, I reached for the razor blade but instantly froze when I sensed someone's presence behind me. I immediately turned around but I saw no one there. Weird.

I made my way out of the bathroom and looked around the room but there was no one. I guess I was just paranoid because I had been under a lot of stress lately. 'Woosh' I heard a swishing sound and turned around to see the curtains swaying.

"Who's there?" My voice quivered slightly. This wasn't normal at all. It's either I'm hallucinating or I'm not seeing things. "You better show yourself or I'll make you come out from the hole you're hiding in" I said louder this time, gaining more confidence as I was holding a razor blade in one hand.

"That can't kill me babe" A familiar Cheshire accent rang in my head. Then it hit me. Harry! "I wish I could wipe that bloody smirk off your face" I muttered. "Don't use that tone with me young lady" Harry grabbed my chin roughly. "It won't be very pretty if you offend me" he snarled.

"Oh really" It was now my turn to give him my signature smirk. "So turning me into a vampire is a joke huh? You think smirking is everything huh? All because of you, my life is ruined! I'm a goner! I lost everything. I can't even have a proper life now. What did I ever do to you? Why are you doing all of this? You'll only stop when you see me break huh? GREAT! So now I've officially lost everything. WHEN WILL YOU EVER STOP MESSING WITH MY LIFE? I've had enough Harry. Please, leave" I pointed to the door, motioning for him to leave right away.

"Why should I leave?" he smirked at me again. "I'm not done with you yet" he inched closer to me, so close that we hardly had any space between us. "This is MY house, not YOURS. You do whatever I tell YOU to do, got it?" I decided to show that I wasn't a tad afraid but deep down I was hyperventilating and I needed to get out of here.

"I don't think it would be pretty for such a pretty girl like you to use that tone with me eh?" Harry gave me his signature smirk once again. I started getting scared when Harry got so close to me that our faces were just centimetres apart. "You do what I tell YOU to do and don't you dare disrespect me, got it, cupcakes?" Harry's eyes were glowing a dangerously dark red colour which creeped me out.

"Why are you doing this?" I said more confidently, not wanting to show that I was weak and helpless, even though deep inside, I could feel heart thumping violently for I knew the things Harry COULD actually do to me if I made him.

"Ask your precious boyfriend of yours" he smirked. "What do you mean?" I asked him as curiosity got the better of me. "You won't wanna know" he said, his eyes showing signs of seriousness for the first time.

"But why? It's not he had killed someone right?" I snickered sarcastically. "You go find out yourself. Just a hint : He has a deadly secret that he has been keeping from you all this while" Harry had a straight look all this while.

"And what is that?" I snapped. "It's up to you to find out, cupcakes" Harry said. "Why should I trust you? I mean you were the one who kidnapped me and turned me into this bloodsucking monster. What makes you think that I would actually trust you?" I snapped.

"Just trust me, love. Nathan isn't as simple as he seems. He has a dark secret that no one, other than me, knows" That was all Harry said before disappearing in a flash.

What secret could Nathan probably be hiding from me?

Cheating on me? Impossible. He would never do that to me.

Raped someone? Nah. He doesn't look like that sort of person, and from our past relationship, I know that he wouldn't do such immoral stuff.

Killed someone? OMG. That's possible. Don't vampires have a killing spree in a bloodlust? And my sister died from a vampire bite... What if... No, it can't be. There are so many vampires around so the chances of Nathan killing her is less than 0.00000000001%. Wait why am I even thinking of that? Nathan can't be the one.

I know I shouldn't be jumping to conclusions but maybe Nathan is really cheating on me. Maybe Harry happened to see him snogging another girl and he wanted me to find out about his rendezvous myself so I know exactly what kind of a person he is.

WAIT. Even if that's the case, why should I even care? It's not like he's my boyfriend. Not anymore right? Oh yeah... I left all my stuff at the lads' apartment. Better go grab it or I might get thrown out of the house.

Yeah my life seriously sucks.

Okay so the story is finishing in about one or two chapters ! Thanks so much for reading my fanfic guys :D

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