• My Lover Is A Bully » Frerard • [COMPLETED]

I Love You, Frank

We walk into Frank's hospital room. Number 12 in the upstairs hallway.
I'm breathing heavily and trying not to cry as I see him in his room, sleeping silently. Like a quiet baby.

He has test tubes stuck all in his body, especially the arms. There's a plastic mask over his face, covering almost all of it.
Then there's a beeping heart monitor, which scares me because you can keep an eye on his heart beats at all times.
I don't wanna do that because if something goes wrong, I'll have a panic attack right here, in front of the nurse, my grandma and Frank himself.

I'll break down and start floods of tears all over the hospital room floor. It will be such a mess and there'll be nothing I can do to stop it. Once you're in a panic attack, you have to wait for it to stop otherwise there's no other way out.

Elena is sat on one of the chairs at the foot of Frank's bed. She has a sad, sorrowful look on her face that makes me feel horrible.
I'm the one that's done this to her, but she still thinks I'm a perfect teenager that wouldn't hurt a fly. Huh, sure. That's so funny. Not really.

It's not even ironic anymore, it's just sad and stupid. I don't wanna be the one responsible for this but I feel like I am. I can't stand this feeling. I want it gone now.

There's a nurse, Nurse Telling. I can tell what her name is because of her identity tag. She has very big eyes and brown hair tied into a bun. She has a blue dress which all the nurses have to wear, apparently.

Nurse Telling leans over Frank's bed, changing all the tubes and whatnot. I'm not a professional at anything because I don't pay attention in school but I know for a fact the nurse is changing something.

Elena says something to the nurse and the nurse nods and says 'ok'.
Elena walks over to me when Nurse Telling makes her way out of the room and says,
"We're going to give you some time alone to maybe talk. I can tell you don't really want to be around people at this point so maybe Frank can help?"
She then takes one more glance at Frank, frowns sympathetically and leaves the room.

I decide to take this opportunity to tell Frank everything and what's going through my mind.

"Hey, Frank. Uhm. I know we don't exactly talk like f-friends in school or anything. I probably didn't even think twice about you. But - but that's then - this is now. I want you more than anything in the whole wide world and I know that sounds so mushy but you are the only thing I want right now and forever."

"I sound so selfish and I am. After all those things I've done to you I shouldn't deserve you and - I don't. But this one time, I don't care about harm or anything close to death but you're making me see it in this hospital bed. I would do anything for you and will if you need me."

"I just hope you can hear me now because I'm on the verge of tears and I'm crying my soul out for you. It's screaming wake up and you're the only thing that can stop it. Please, Frank. You're the only one that can save us - "
I choke up and bury my head in the covers of the hospital bed.
There's no hope. I'm lost. I'm dying without him and it took me so fucking long to realise that. I wish I could turn back time to the way it was but me and Frank would be holding hands in front of everyone in the whole school.

We'd smile at eachother. We'd laugh at eachother. We'd stargaze and cloudgaze together in a large open field of grass and flowers.
We'd hold on tight to eachother in the winter to keep ourselves warm and we'd never let eachother go.

But that can never be.

I. Can. Never. Be.

All because I love you Frank...