Winter In London

Chapter 4: Such An Idiot

"What the hell was that?!" Kasha asks harshly when we're in her car to go back home. Her Dad's driver drives us home. She's absolutely mad at me. After I told Zayn that my name was Anonymus, I left him and Kasha alone. I know I was such a jerk treating him like that. But I just....I'm not in the mood after that awkward moment. Yes I know it wasn't his fault but, yeah. 

"Since when you're turning to be a mean girl? Seriously that was absolutely not nice, Naura. You look immature," I try to ignore all her grumbles. What's the big deal here? I was only refusing to tell a stranger what my real name is! Well, okay he was not completely a stranger (since he told us his name) and he was totally nice, but I only talked to him once and we were in a awkward situation. Was it really a matter that I didn't tell him my real name when he asked me? 

And I'm pretty sure Kasha is being mad because she's kinda interested to him. She absolutely wanted to talk to him or even more tried to flirt with him. But because of my not nice attitude, she had to keep her wants. 

"....and he's a nice guy! He's only trying to be nice to you but look at you! You pissed him off! Shame on you, Naura!" Kasha yells at me. I think she's getting this way too serious

"Are you done?" I ask her when our car --actually it's Kasha's-- stops for a traffic light. 

She doesn't reply to me but only breathing in and out in anger. Her face just looks straight to the front, not even glance at me. I decide to ask her again. 

"You done? Or you still wanna yell at me and tell me how mean or not nice I am?" 

Silence.

"Look at you, Kasha. Just because a guy, you insult me? You....we just knew him one hour ago. And you insult me for a guy whom you met one hour ago?" 

She looks out to the window instead replying me. There's a silence between us for a few minutes. 

"This is definitely useless, you know?" I add, "And I don't want to be angry or something just because of an unimportant reason, like this." I press the pronounciation on the word 'like this'. 

Silence again. 

"I just...," She begins to speak, "I don't get it, Naura. I feel you're turning into a different person since that dumbass hurt you. It's like you close yourself from any guys. You don't want and don't let them to get to know you." 

I swallow. She still doesn't look at me but looks at her hands on her lap instead. I'm waiting for her to continue. 

"You acted different ever since. Have you ever realized? You changed." Am I? 

"You became more emotional and more sensitive, you easily get upset. What happened?" Finally she looks at me. I just sit, look at her, and my brain tries to digest her words. 

"You have to move on, Naura. You have to try to trust someone again," I'm about to say something but she cuts me, "No. I'm not finished yet. I know what you want to say. Naura, I know I don't know how your feeling is after that incident and I can't. I've never got hurt and I don't know how it feels. But please, Naura, this is absolutely not you. You just said you won't to get mad or angry or something for any unimportant reasons right? But look! You changed. For an unimportant reason," I can feel she presses the 'unimportant reason' pronounce. 

"What's done, is done, Naura. Left it behind. Past is past." 

The car stops in front of my house. I still stay quiet. Kasha's words are right. I feel so guilty and.....dumb. 

"We're arrived," The Driver says, interrupting my thoughts. I blink my eyes, totally awake from my thoughts. Kasha pats me on my shoulder. 

"Go get in! And do introspection to yourself," She smiles. I look at her with my eyes watering. I feel very very guilty.