My life is all about kidnapping and being kidnapped.
I have kidnapped so far:
-my neighbors cat when I was five and asked for ransom.
-My friend Jason (in Kindergarten) and hid him in the wardrobe. The loser however gave me away when he started screaming.
-Scar, when she refused to go watch The Conjuring with us in the cinemas. Mitchell was the mastermind behind that one though.
I have been kidnapped so far:
-by Noir and Scar when I was 13 where they took me to the fair
-by Noir and Scar when they kidnapped me so that I would accompany them to their creepy grandmother
-by Noir and Scar when they took me away while I was shoe shopping with my mum and made me be the witness of how they can be normal humans and not some hooligans. (Apparently they were being watched by the sheriff.)
Today, my friend John, it was no different.
I should have screamed for my parents, John. I should have bloody screamed. But no! Like the foolish boy I am, I just grunted a 'oh it's you guys' when they climbed through my window at three in the morning.
I was too much asleep to realize that they had covered my head with a potato sack and then in mysterious ways gotten me out of my bed, through the window, down five meters and into their stinky car. Well, Noir's car.
And then, when I woke up I found myself surrounded by blackness.
At first I freaked out. At first I thought that I had really been kidnapped this time. At first I thought that I was gonna die because my parents are too broke to pay the kidnappers.
So I screamed.
And then I heard a voice.
Mitchell: Oh my god, Montgomery. Shut the fuck up. My ears are bleeding.
And then suddenly the darkness was gone and in front of me stood Scar.
Scar: Sorry we forgot to remove the sack. You were sleeping like Sleeping Beauty, you little drama queen you.
That of course made me so so so angry.
How can someone forget me? Me? Me?
Oh, and also how can she compare me to Sleeping Beauty?!
Noir popped up out of nowhere then and he just grinned at me.
France did him good, John. He looks really cool with the jet black hair and the dark eyes and the dark clothes and the light beard and the Zayn Malik vibe and oh my god. He's so cool. I wanna be like him.
But I would never tell him. We don't wanna inflate his ego.
Noir: What's popping, Montgomery?
Me: Oh my god! You're a king! You're my king! And you're speaking to me!
(John: Crapfreakshit.)
Yes, crapfreakshit indeed. I really did say that aloud.
Mitchell: What a loser.
Scar: What a loser.
What a loser
Noir: What a cool kid. I like you. I've always liked you, Montgomery but now I like you even more.
Scar: He's just blind.
Mitchell: Even though he wears glasses.
Noir: Uh uh! Now don't you hate on my fan...I meant friend. Don't hate on my friend.
Mitchell: Friend my ass
Scar: Friend Mitchell's ass.
Noir: I don't like the attitude Ross.
Me: What are we even doing here?
Mitchell: I don't like you, Noir.
Noir: I'll un-kidnap you.
Scar: Oh come on, I want my bed!
Me: What are we doing here?
Mitchell: What bed?
Noir: We're building Scar a bed.
Mitchell: Why don't you just buy one?
Noir: Do I look like Bill Gates to you? No, Mark Zuckerberg? My god, Justin Bieber? I can't afford a frigging bed.
Mitchell: I'll buy you one, jeez.
Scar: Na-huh, you won't. And besides, you can't get my dream bed in any shop.
Me: Can someone untie me? The robes are cutting my wrists.
Mitchell: And what dream bed would that be?
Scar: How can you even ask?
Me: My wrists, you guys.
Noir: Obviously a Batman bed.
Mitchell: Should have known.
Noir began to mimic whatever Mitchell did after that.
Scar: Let's go. The wood is in the shed.
Me: guys please? Hello.
Mitchell: Do you even know how to build a bed?
Me: Wrists. Pain. Dying.
Noir: Scar, I hate your friend.
Scar: Of course, Mitch. Now come along you two!
Me: Excuse me? Still a bit tied up here?!
Scar: Wait a second! We forgot something!
Me: Thank you.
Scar: We almost forgot the blueprints for the bed.
Mitchell: What blueprints? It's just a bed. Not a mansion.
Noir: Oops. Can't forget the blueprints.
Me: Say what?
Scar: Oh and Montgomery.
I hate my life. And-
Oh my god. Mom is coming! I can hear her coming up the stairs. She wants to bake. With me! Strengthen the bond between us.
I have to hide or-
YOU ARE READING
About Ruben
Short StorySomething terrifying happens to Ruben Butler. He loses his diary! And then he finds it again. Only for something terrifying to happen again. Ruben Butler finds a handwriting that is unmistakably not his scratched on the pages of his diary. What...
