Will She or Will She not (On Hold)

Chapter 18

Jackson's Pov

I listened yo what Ashley had to say. And yes I do agree with her I can't keep leading these girls on in and then breaking their heart in the end it's not fair to them. I'm just so used to using girls because of my mother. She used my father for pregnant with me and left. She left me with my father.y father struggled to provide for me and himself. Ever since then she left been hard for the both of us. It would have been helpful if she as so much as showed up during special events to let us know she still cares about us. But nothing never showed up at all.

Ashley is special to me there is something about her that I like. She is not only beautiful in her own skin, sexy as hell she is also confident. She also doesn't take any shit from anybody. There is this feeling I have never felt in a while. But the thing is I only feel this way when I'm around her. It's the same thing like Ash said she can't help herself when she sees me or when she is in the same room as me.

When I think about settling down with my partner, I think man no more breaking girls hearts either. I really need to get that underway. Put it behind me. When I look into Ashley's eyes her forrest green eyes I see something unique something special about her. But when she looks at me she tells me she sees something good nothing bad just pure good. How can someone see nothing but a good person how does nothing but bad things to his/her next victim.

Now that i think about it when Ashley was telling how she feels about us I can tell there was a little hurt honesty in her voice. I can tell she was hurt because she knows that there is a huge possibility that she might not be the one I chose to tie the knot with.

"Ashley I know you want to be the one to marry me but, in all honesty I'm not not ready for that kind commitment."..."Jackson I know you deep down inside I know you want to eventually get married"..."Ash there is something that only me my father and my best friend know and I feel like you should know too so I'm going to tell you."

She nods her head letting me know that it's ok to continue. So I sit up straight against her head board and lay her across my body. To where her head is across my legs and the rest of her body follows.

Ok here goes nothing I repeating this part of my life but like i said I feel like she needs to know so I'm telling her. "Ashley when my mother was seeing my father they where in high school. They met when they both attended a study group in the library. My mom caught the eye of my father.

My father, knew he couldn't let her go so he asked for her number and from there they hit it off. Long story short they ended up getting married their third year of college. So you can say they were high school sweat hearts. When my mom found out she was pregnant with me, she was so excited to have a baby boy. She also went on daily check ups at the doctors.

When she had another check up, my father could not make it because he was out of town on a business trip so my mother had no choice but to go by herself. She feel for the doctor Ash. She admitted to having feelings for him. So when I was born she left me with my father and mailed him the divorce papers.

When my father finally signed the papers she ran off with the doctor and we never heard from her again. I have little flings because, I'm angry and feel like every time I met a woman I think they will leave me like my mother did.

And break their hearts like my mother broke mine and my father's." That was a lot to say and hard to say at the same time. But by the way she is looking at me, she is not judging me at all which is why I love her. She she doesn't judge people.

"Jackson I thank you for telling me what was wrong so now we can both help each other out" She tells me while sitting up.

"Ash what are you talking about WE can help each other out?" I am confused by what she is telling me.