K I D N A P P E D - P H A N A U

Chapter Four

Dan's hand was shaking harder than it ever had in his life. He knew it was time to tell someone about where he had spent most of his life and what had happened to him, but he was terrified of what they would do to him.

We'll hurt you. And break you, and destroy you. It will be just like before. So don't even think about it.

I can do it!

NO YOU CAN'T. D O N ' T  T R Y.

Dan connected the pencil to the paper and started writing. This was his defiance. This was his way of revenge.

'When I was 4, they took me. I was at the park with my friends-my parents were socializing with their friends-when I got separated near some bushes. They came up behind me and told me they were going to show me something amazing. They brought me to a van, where they tied me up and threw me into the back. I was scared. I had no idea what was happening. We drove for what seemed like hours. There were no windows where I was, and I couldn't see anything. Then, suddenly, they hit the brakes and I flew against the door, knocking me unconscious. The next thing I knew, I was tied to a pole in the middle of an abandoned factory. There, they did unspeakable acts to me for 10 years. They would hit me, burn me, whip me, cut me, rape me, and they barely fed me. I was lucky to have two "meals" a week. They would give me things like moldy bread, spoiled vegetables, only scraps and only enough to keep me alive. There were three of them. I don't know why they did it. There was no separate area for a bathroom, so I was constantly sitting in my own waste unless they moved me, which they only did to punish me better. Sometimes they would bring friends and let them do what they pleased with me. I was ripped of my innocence before I even knew what was happening. I would cry and scream for help, but they would just hit me harder. They set up a list of rules. I wasn't allowed to speak, scream, or defend myself, and I had to do everything they said. And the number one rule was that I couldn't tell anyone about what happened. If I defied these rules, they hit me until I went unconscious. They were sloppy when they fixed my wounds. They never gave me painkillers of any kind. It was worse than imaginable. One day, they got caught. They were arrested for kidnapping. The police officers came and found me bloody, bruised, and unconscious. They immediately brought me to the nearest hospital and patched me up as best they could. They had no idea who I was, and they kept trying to get me to tell them who I was and what had happened. But the rules were so ingrained in my brain, I couldn't say anything. Eventually they learned who I was, and my parents were contacted. They seemed so happy to be reunited with me, but they had no idea what had happened to me. I would randomly break down, I wouldn't say anything, I barely ate unless they made me. I wanted to die. My parents brought me to therapy, but nothing worked. They brought me here. Everyone treated me with pity. I had a normal room for about a month. It had a bed, a bathroom, a sink, everything I needed. But when they noticed just how suicidal I was, seeing as I constantly hit my head against every surface in the room, they moved me to this room. They tried everything to get me to explain what had happened. They had me do speech therapy, they taught me how to write, they put me on anti-depressants-but nothing worked. It's been almost 4 years, and they still have no idea what happened to me.'

Dan threw the notebook suddenly, his body shaking so much as he cried. He had tried his hardest to put this part of his life behind him, but it was impossible. He had nightmares about it every night, and the voices of his kidnappers always haunted him. There was no escaping it, no matter how hard he tried.

He shakily stood up and walked across the room to pick up the notebook. He took it in his hands and sat in the corner of the room, holding it close to his chest. He yawned suddenly and put the notebook down, closing it. He put the pencil next to it and took a deep breath, using everything in his power not to hurt himself with the pencil.

Do it. You're going to get punished anyway. Even if you never show that notebook to anyone, you've still told someone about what happened to you. So just get it over with.

But what would Phil say?

He doesn't care about you. YOU'RE WORTHLESS.

No I'm not!

Y E S  Y O U  A R E .

Shut up! Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!

There was silence. No voices talked back. Dan smiled to himself gently, his eyes shining with pride.

But that silence was very short.

Did you just talk back to us?

We're going to hurt you so bad you won't know what's happening.

Just wait until we get out of this hellhole.

We know where you are. Maudsley Hospital. We know how to get there. You have no chance.

Dan was shaking harder than ever. Tears were running down his face at an alarming rate. He could barely breathe. In fact, he seemed to be holding his breath. Black spots dotted his vision and his lungs burned. It all became too much, until suddenly, he passed out and his breathing returned to normal.

•••

When he awoke, there was a quiet knocking at the door. Dan looked up to see Phil walk in with a white bag in his hands.

"Good morning, Dan. I brought you something," he said, a large smile on his face. He was oblivious to what Dan had written for him in the notebook. He walked over to the slightly trembling boy and sat down next to him. He handed Dan the bag with a smile. Dan returned it.

Dan opened the bag to reveal a plush animal. He had remembered seeing pictures of this when he was a toddler. He looked at Phil in slight confusion.

"You don't know what it is?" Phil asked in disbelief. Dan shook his head. "Well, it's a cute little lion. Lions are really fast, strong, and big. They live in Africa and can take down their prey in an instant. They're amazing. And it reminded me of you, so I bought you one. I have one just like it at my house," he explained, a smile on his face. Dan feebly returned it.

"So, what was it that you were writing?" Phil asked suddenly. Dan's heart rate sped up immediately. He bit his lip and stared at the notebook, trying to decide whether he should show it to Phil or not. He let out a small sigh and handed it to Phil, holding on to the lion tightly, hoping the animal would give its strength to Dan to help him.

Phil started reading, looking confused at first before realizing what Dan was telling him. He read the rest of it in about 2 minutes and stared in shock at Dan, who had tears running down his cheeks.

"D-Dan.... Th-that's what happened to y-you?" Phil asked quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. Dan nodded, now breaking down completely. Phil bit his lip and gently wrapped his arms around Dan, guiding his head tp his chest and quietly murmuring words of support. Dan didn't flinch away this time. He held onto Phil tighter than he had ever hugged anyone.

"It's okay, Dan. They're gone now," Phil whispered, rubbing comforting circles on his back.

He's wrong.