K I D N A P P E D - P H A N A U

Chapter Twenty

(Trigger Warning: Suicidal Thoughts and Abuse)

Dan didn't feel any better after he got out of the hospital. He didn't even feel better once the trial was over. He just felt terrible all the time.

Derrick, Jack, and Connor were found guilty, and were each given lifetime sentences in prison. Luckily for Dan, he didn't have to say anything. The officers, Phil, and Marie told the story well enough for the judge to understand. Just seeing how broken and defeated Dan looked was enough.

Phil and James brought Dan back to their house. They decided that, at least for now, both James and Phil should be present for helping Dan.

But only Dan knew it wouldn't last long.

Dan barely spoke.He would only talk to Phil, but it wasn't the same as before. He was quiet whenever he would speak, and it was almost impossible to excite him. He didn't want to go outside, since his paranoia was still through the roof. He constantly had nightmares, he still had panic attacks, and even though the voices were much quieter, they were still present and they still taunted Dan to the point of hysteria.

He was starting from square one, but it was different this time. This time, he didn't want to get better. He knew it was pointless. He didn't want to try anymore.

He wanted to die.

He tried, because he loved Phil and he hated seeing him upset, but he didn't try for himself.

One day, Phil confronted him about it.

"Dan, what's wrong? You've given up, but why?" he asked, holding his hands and looking into Dan's chocolate brown eyes.

"There's no point in me trying to get better. I'm worse off than before, and I don't seem to be getting any better at all," Dan mumbled, looking down at their interlocked hands.

"But there is a point. There's always a point," Phil said gently. "You just have to give yourself time."

"But I already gave myself time!" Dan snapped, sniffling. "I gave myself time, and it all got ruined, and now I'm a mess," he murmured, looking up at Phil with tears in his eyes.

"Dan, that was not your fault and you know it. Don't you dare blame that on yourself," Phil said. "You were doing so well though. We can keep trying. You can get better." He smiled reassuringly.

Dan sighed in defeat. "Fine, I'll try," he said. But he knew it wouldn't work. He already had other plans.

Phil smiled. "Good," he said. "Do you want to play Mario Kart or something?"

"Sure," Dan said, shrugging. He gave Phil a small smile, but it wasn't genuine.

The two boys played Mario Kart for a while, and Dan felt a little less terrible than normal. He was laughing, but he still heard the taunting voices and there was still the overwhelming urge to end everything.

But how? And when? Phil is always around, Dan though, outwardly sighing, but it was quiet.

"Hey, Dan, I need to tell you something," Phil said suddenly, pausing their game and turning to Dan, who had a nervous look on his face.

"Yes?" Dan asked.

"So... I'm needed back at the hospital. And my dad is always on duty, which means you'll be alone for most of the day whenever I'm at work," Phil said. "Do you think you can handle that?"

Dan knew for a fact that he couldn't, but he nodded anyway. "Yeah, I'll be fine," he said, smiling at Phil reassuringly.

"Good," Phil said, nodding. He kissed Dan's cheek and smiled. "I love you," he murmured.

Dan smiled and cuddled into him. "I love you too," he murmured. He close his eyes and soon fell asleep.

-

Dan was back in the abandoned house, and he started freaking out immediately. Derrick walked up to him, smirking. He held his belt, obviously ready to beat him.

But then suddenly, it wasn't Derrick anymore. It was Phil. The green eyes turned to bright blue ones, and his fair skin turned pale. He glared at Dan with malice. Dan tried to get out of his restraints, but the more he struggled, the tighter they became.

Phil crouched down in front of Dan. "What's wrong? Are you scared?" he asked. Dan said nothing, but it was obvious that he was. Phil laughed and held the belt up in the air. "You've been bad. It's time to punish you."

The belt whipped through the air and hit Dan's back with a loud smack. Dan screamed in pain, but Phil didn't care. He kept whipping him with the belt, each time harder than the last.

"Aww, Dan. What's wrong?" Phil said, laughing coldly. He hit him again, this time hitting a spot that was already bleeding.

Dan let out another scream. "Stop!" he cried, but it just made Phil hit him harder. He sobbed, just wanting this to end.

"Dan, wake up!"

-

Dan's eyes flew open and he jolted into a sitting position. He was shaking and crying, and the voices in his head were louder than ever. He didn't realize he wasn't breathing.

"Dan, calm down, please," Phil said quickly, looking at Dan with wide eyes. "What happened?"

Dan just shook his head, unable to say anything. He flinched away when Phil touched his shoulder to calm him down. His face was getting red from not breathing. Phil noticed this.

"Dan, breathe!" he said, his voice firm. Dan stared at Phil and immediately listened to him, the nightmare still in his mind. "What happened?"

"Y-You h-hit me," Dan murmured, sniffling. Phil looked surprised.

"What?" he asked. "Dan, you know I would never do that," he said.

"I-I know... It just felt r-real," he said. Phil hugged him tightly, and Dan let him. He burst into tears in his arms. "I h-hate feeling like th-this," he mumbled.

"Like what?" Phil asked.

"I'm never... happy," Dan said, looking up at Phil, tears still running down his cheeks. "I'm just so tired of feeling this way.... I want it all to end." He sniffled and looked away.

"Dan, you don't mean that, do you?" Phil asked quietly. Dan shook his head, sighing.

But he was lying.

(OKAY The next two chapters will be the last two chapters of this story. Wow. I just wanted to thank everyone for the support this has gotten. It's amazing. It literally makes my day to read all of the comments and seeing people's reactions. So, the next two chapters may take a while, because they overlap and I have to update them at the same time. But I already have plans for my next phanfic and I can't wait to start it! So, thanks again, and I'll see you in the final chapters!)