My Math Teacher (Niall Horan)

Chapter 10

Mr.horans p.o.v(home)

I set my side bag down on my bed.
"Aye, mate, aren't you gonna get the house ready for the party tonight?" Said Louis, aka Mr.Tomlinson , which is my roommate.
"Um, yeah, I am ... I think Imma shower right now instead since I already cleaned up yesterday , I just have to set up the food and stuff like that" I replied.
"Oh good because I want to take a na- *yawns* a nap" Louis continued.
I chuckled.
I heard him walk to his bedroom soon to hear his door shut.
I let a breath out that I was tying to hold in.
My breaths became harder and faster.
I don't feel like myself right now, I feel like the side of me that I hate.
My thoughts want to take over me again.
I can't stop thinking about rose, especially of what happened today after class.
She wanted to kiss me , she knew I did too.
And her dress fit her so well , she looked so gorgeous to the point that I couldn't stop staring at her.
Ugh,I should of kissed right there!
Why did that bag of cookies had to fall! Ugh well I'm sure it happened at that moment for a reason.
I bit my lip snapping back to reality .
"I should go take a bath now" I said to myself,is that weird?
I stood up feeling a throbbing sensation.
I knew it, why does this happen to meeeee.
It was just nice thoughts like why!?
I made my way to the bathroom quickly!
"I hope this water warms up quickly " I said to myself turning the knob for the water to come out .
...
Once the warm water came out I made sure the drain was covered so the bathtub can fill up.
I striped my clothes off getting ready to go in my warm bath.
The throbbing sensation was still there.
I sat in my warm bath leaning back against the tub wall closing my eyes.
Why can't I get rose out of my head! I been like this for days...PFFT,ever since I met her!
What is this girl doing to me.
I open my eyes getting frustrated with myself,clenching my fists.
I start to breathe heavily.
I look down to myself realizing I was making myself hard with all these thoughts and with the day dreams I make up about her makes it worse.
I lean my head back closing my eyes again trying hard not to do it.
This is wrong, I can't be thinking about her this way.
But why do I stop myself? I don't understand why I keep fighting it.
I know I've fallen but I don't want to admit it.
I bit my lip again feeling a stronger throbbing than before.
Deep ,louder breaths escaped my mouth eventually turning into soft moans because of what my hand is doing to me.
I close my eyes shut hating myself but yet thinking about rose, I want to kiss her badly, I want to kiss her right now , I want her here with me.
More moans left my mouth getting louder than the ones before.
I couldn't stop myself .
I can hear the bath water hitting against my skin.
This makes me feel so wrong and ugly,just horrible!
Liquids were about to erupt out of my body.
I moaned loudly as I went fast.
I finally sat back and catched my breath.
I felt tears streaming down my face.
Why did I have to meet rose?
Why did she have to come into my life and make me feel like this?
I feel like I'm going insane!
My cries turned into sobs.
This is all so hard for me because I don't know what to do!
I have to keep it all to myself and I hate that!
I wish I can tell rose how I feel, I wish I can tell her everything and it would all turn out okay!
But it won't, I would be considered a pedophile! And you know what?
IT SUCKS!
I wish people can see what true love is and not be judgmental.
...

I judge myself in the mirror one last time making sure my hair looks okay and if I look okay in my costume.
I guess it looks okay, I mean, it's just a costume and ..
Ahh, I can't stop thinking about rose.
I wonder what she is doing right now, how her birthday is going.
I hope her night is going good.
I smile to myself imaging her dress in a Cinderella dress since I'm suppose to be Prince Charming.
We would look so good together.
I sigh softly then head to the kitchen where Louis was already eating the food for the party.
"Couldn't of waited till the party started ?" I asked jokenly.
He gives me a huge sarcastic smile still chewing on his food.
I laugh.
*door bell rings*
"Let's get this party starteddd" Louis says while dancing over to his phone, playing his music from his phone which is Bluetooth to the speaker.
I open the door letting my friends come in.
I smile trying to get loose and not think about rose.