I Choose You : A New Chapter

October 17, 1998

"Oh my God. Oh my God. Fuck. Shit. Bloody fucking shit." Ben paced Jordan's room with his hands fisting in his hair. He and the boys were getting ready in this room, while Cassie was just next door in Mark and Jenna's room getting ready. 

He hasn't seen her since yesterday, not even a glimpse when he came into the house. He was aching to see her, touch her, kiss her, hold her. He also couldn't believe that he was getting married. This was the biggest, most exhilarating days of his life!

There was a knock on the door and quickly went over and opened it. "Dad," he said. "Come in, please." He ushered his dad in and shut the door. "God, dad, I am freaking out." He continued to pace the room. 

Tim sat down on Jordan's bed and asked, "What's the problem? Are you having second thoughts?" Ben quickly shook his head and said, "No, no of course not. I love her, I love her more than anything, but I'm just so afraid...what if I'm not good enough for her? What if I can't be the husband she deserves, can't be the father our children need, can't be the man for her? I ask myself everyday how I got so lucky and now we're getting married and starting our own family, I...I'm fucking terrified."

Tim got up and put his hands on each side of Ben's head. "Son, listen to me very carefully," he said, "I had these exact feelings when I married your mother. They are very common thoughts and they are horrifying. I didn't have anyone to reassure me about how your mother felt about me then, but Ben, believe me...Cassie loves you. The way she looks at you is like nothing I have ever seen. It's good to be terrified, I would be worried if you weren't."

He fixed up Ben's bow tie and wiped down his jacket. "Now," he said, "you are going to go out there and wait for your girl to walk down that isle." Ben sniffled and wiped his tears. "Okay," he said. "Do you know how she's doing?"

Tim smiled and said, "She's doing fine. She can't wait to see you." Ben laughed through his tears. "I wish I could see her," he said. "I bet she looks gorgeous. Though, she always looks gorgeous."

He nervously fiddled with his tux, then took a deep breath. "Okay," he said, "I'm ready."

**

Ben looked down the line of his groomsmen; Adam his best man, then there was James and Tom and Jordan. All of his favorite guys, some of the most important in his life, all here with him. 

He glanced over to Cassie's bridesmaids, the one's who were just lining up, and saw Mia (who was Cassie's maid of honor, plus Harper because she couldn't decide) mouth to him, 'She's beautiful'.

Ben smiled widely and got all jittery. He then heard her wedding march start to play and stood up a little straighter.

He took a deep breath and let it slowly out. He kept his eyes glued to the hedge she was supposed to come around. Her two small, demonic cousins were the "flower children" (because they didn't exactly trust them with the rings) and came out with their baskets and started tossing flower pedals as they walked down the isle. 

This was Cassie's cue.

**

"Daddy, please don't let me fall," Cassie whispered as they were slowly starting to walk. Mark squeezed her hand and said, "I would never let you fall, baby girl. I haven't since you were born and I won't stop now."

She held on to his hand for dear life, but then stopped them from walking. "What if I can't do this?" She asked, clearly scared. Mark put his hands on her face and gave her a warm smile. "You can, Cass," he told her. "Ben loves you, he'll stick with you through all of your troubles and worries because that's what marriage is."