It's Jacob or me

Lonliness

This is a long chapter so don't complain I don't update 😂🙈 but don't expect one this side of Christmas possible I'll update again in the new year as I have exams 😩

It was coming up a month in a few days  that connie had disappeared and connie still hasn't shown her face back in the hospital or Holby. In fact not even Charlie had heard from his unbiological daughter.

Jacob had been on a literal emotional rollercoaster and was now fed up.He was now on the point of despair ; he had given up trying to contact her and find her he had exhausted every communication technique he had to his name for her ; if she wanted to return or get in contact with him she would , this was now his new attitude and approach, and when or if she did ,she better have a good reason.

It was the same shift a different day , the same mundane routine he faced day in day out since her departure , there was now no fun, nothing for him to look forward to in his life she had vanished.

Bringing him out of his trance as he heard footsteps closing in and Alicia walking into the staff room. " you aren't free are you?" Alicia asked cautiously. "Yeah, it's coming the end of my break , you want my help?"
"Yeah please only if you don't mind , you've been working yourself hard lately"
Totally ignoring her comment about his working state he placed his mug back in the sink and started walking out "what needs doing, what bay?"
"3 , and wants a man nurse to do bloods that's all , won't let Louise anywhere near" he didn't need to speak just rolled his eyes , what was it these days that many of the elderly patience were becoming more difficult to treat "she has all the stuff there don't worry about that " she said after seeing him going to pull the trolley .

Walking into the bay he was shocked to see not an older gentleman like he first expected but one only a few years older than himself.

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"Just press that and hold that on there sir " Jacobs said before passing him a cotton wool ball to prevent bleeding after the test as he prepared the plaster, he was going to put on, to keep it clean and sterilised .

"You seem distracted nurse"the man said to Jacob who was still fighting with the plaster ."nurse" the man said capturing Jacobs attention this time making him look up . "Sorry, what did you say " giving the patient some sort of apologetic look and a near smile .

"What's distracting you ?"
Jacob looked up after finally getting into the plaster placing it on his wound as he instructed the man to remove the cotton wool ball. "Me nothing " Jacob said as a matter of fact, not wanting to go into detail or expand on his answer . The man laughed as though some one had made a joke and he found it funny. "So then ... Why did it take you a while to open the plaster and ignore my initial statement ?"

"Just sleep deprived and extremely tired as well as the long hours " saying the most used and most reasonable lie that was known to any man or woman being either a doctor or nurse , everyone has used it to cover up something ; surely the patient was able to see through him. The patient smiled and then laughed "isn't that what they all say" Jacob smiled,  going along with the joke" yes I guess so , - anyway mr Barnes I'll send these tests off if you could wait in reception until the tests come back then I'll call you and  we will talk later about the results and the best course of action , any questions?" 

The man pondered over the question , making Jacob more nervous the longer he thought about it and didn't reply .He could hear the mans brain thinking everything through " no I believe you've covered everything , thank you," he said breaking the nerve wracking silence . Jacob let out a loud sigh of relief " pop your self off the bed , let me help you, then follow me please to reception, would you  like a hot drink whilst you wait Mr Barnes ?"  The man shook his head as Jacob helped him through the door "okay sit there and I'll call you through as soon as I have the results ; they shouldn't take long , help yourself to the water and magazines if you like" Jacob said not waiting for a response as he turned and walked away picking up more patient files at reception as he passed and putting the bloods into the tray with the other hand. 3 hours until the shift was due to finish he thought to himself . "3 hours left that's all" he repeated out loud to himself .  Walking back to the cubicals to continue to proceed through the day.
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The shift was dragging he was due to clock off in 45 mins and go back to the house he felt he was abusing by being there. Charlie had insisted that he was to stay with him since that night and he was no trouble yet Jacob knew he was only saying it to make himself feel better at the fact he had no where else to go. Jacob would often try to help around the house like he would do yet usually getting told to sit down because he was the guest . Jacob had had enough he has over stayed his welcome and was going to go to his parents or his own house , he didn't want to be victimised and preyed upon. anymore and put Charlie out anymore than what he already had. He knew he would have to have this convocation soon but he also knew that Charlie wouldn't let him leave his knowing he had nowhere else to go, so perhaps he did need to ask a friend for a favour.
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Leaving his shift he felt better than what he had done all week although the shift had dragged he felt much better within himself. As he strolled out through the ED doors and headed towards the pub, this had became his routine for the last month since her departure . He believed it would help him to drink away some of the pain and upset she had caused by making him numb but the thoughts of her were still there,vividly, in his brain.
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Sitting on the table himself he watched as his colleagues around him were playing games, joking around and laughing;all the things he used to do with them yet since Connie had left him his motivation to do anything but lope around all day had disappeared .